Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable for the audience. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#live #performance #play #concert #event #audience

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In the new era,

people

could immerse themselves in a live performance like a football match or a play, which is more entertaining for the viewers. I contend that the benefits of watching a show in front of your eyes are far weightier than the number of drawbacks. First and foremost, attending a concert may cost a lot of time, which makes many individuals, especially parents, hesitate about their decisions as they only have one or two days per week to relax.

In addition

, a minority of the

people

in the labour force don’t even care about entertainment activities.

Secondly

, some kinds of tickets are too expensive for a large number of

people

that they can not afford them.

For example

last

month, my parents promised to go to a music concert, but they had to work overtime, so we cancelled until the next event

although

we bought some tickets and the price was equal to 10% of our income.

However

, the impression of a group's music or a football match in front of us is different from an aired live telecast. It consists of emotions, vibrations and graces of

people

and a lively environment which are worth a lot.

Moreover

, food and drinks would be sold at a low price because the seller always wants to offer a wholesale price on that day.

For instance

, my friend and I attended a concert with our favourite singer 2 years ago, we always remember that moment of dancing and craziness whenever we get together. It is a lifelong memory for us. In conclusion, I suppose that

due to

the reasons I mentioned above, the advantages of watching a live performance outweigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by dohuyhoang on Wed Nov 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences are directly related to this main idea.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to guide the reader through your arguments clearly.

task achievement

Try to develop examples more thoroughly to support your points, as this will show a better range of language and a deeper understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Work on providing a more balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, with more equal development for each side.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable for the audience. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goals. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, prefer to take risks and think that change is a positive thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.