Many parents send their children on educational trips inside and outside of their country. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#parents #children #trips #country

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Parents support their

children

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's growth by giving educational trips to gain more

knowledge

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. In

this

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essay, I will examine the benefits and drawbacks of trips for academic purposes for

children

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. On the one hand, having an outing to study for

children

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gives the disadvantages.

Firstly

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, by accepting the parent's order to enrol in the academic trip,

children

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can not fulfil their individual plans for their own hobbies and activities

such

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as playing football, swimming, or watching movies. In

this

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situation,

children

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could be stressed as they have no time to relieve their stress after doing full-time study in their school and participating in extra programs.

On the other hand

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children

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who are sent to have an education trip gain benefits. In the beginning,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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educational tours could lead

children

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to have new friends to talk, to share, or play

Change preposition

with.

show examples

For example

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, if

children

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do an extra activity for a study trip, they will meet a new friend in their class.

This

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is a good thing for them to know more people.

Furthermore

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, when

children

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decide to join an academic in the extra activity, they will have much

knowledge

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as they hear, read, or maybe do the task

while

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joining the program.

Moreover

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, the

knowledge

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they get will make them more valuable than their friends who did not participate in the program. In conclusion,

while

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sending

children

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to join educational trips may have

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

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like making them stressed, it offers more advantages

such

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as meeting new friends and gaining valuable experience and

knowledge

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which will make them more vulnerable than others.

Submitted by rezaf.permadi on Mon Apr 08 2024

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task achievement

To further improve, make sure that your essay has a clear and direct response to the question from the start. This allows readers to immediately understand your stance and the direction of your argument.

task achievement

Try to include more detailed and varied examples to support your arguments. Specific examples add depth to your points and show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

While your essay demonstrates good logical structure, focusing on smoothing transitions between paragraphs and ideas can enhance the flow of your writing. Consider using more linking phrases to guide your reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining and summarizing your essay's arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay benefits from a logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, which aids in reader comprehension.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Many parents send their children on educational trips inside and outside of their country. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both side and give your opinion?

The Internet is generally considered as a blessing for mankind. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?