The diagram below shows the manufacturing for making sugar from sugarcane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing for making sugar from sugarcane.
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The diagram shows the manufacturing
process
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of
sugar
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from sugarcane. It is shown through 7 stages of the production
process
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with arrows and pictures illustrating each
step
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.
Overall
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, the
process
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will begin with the planting and harvesting of the sugarcanes before transitioning to utilize more industrialized methods from
step
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4 onwards for the extraction
process
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of
sugar
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from the crop. We will first examine the first half of the entire
process
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. The creation of
sugar
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begins as sugarcanes are planted into the ground and grown.
This
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process
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takes around 12 to 18 months before we move on to the next
step
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which is harvesting. Here there are two illustrations, depicting how sugarcanes can be harvested manually or through the use of vehicles like tractors. The crop is
then
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crushed to produce juice, as shown in
step
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3, with the assistance of machinery as the accompanying picture displays. Moving on to the more industrial aspect of the
process
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, the sugarcane juice will first get purified in stage 4, through the use of a funnel with a limestone filter. Doing
this
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will rid the liquid of any impure substances that can't be removed by evaporating the compound, using an evaporator in
step
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5 of the assembly line. Applying heat to the juice will turn it into syrup, creating
sugar
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crystals in the
process
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.
Step
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6 is to separate these crystals from the syrup, through a method called a centrifuge.
Finally
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, by leaving the crystals out to dry and cool, they will turn into
sugar
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that is
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ready for consumers.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar, step with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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