The diagram below shows the manufacturing for making sugar from sugarcane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing for making sugar from sugarcane.
The diagram shows the manufacturing
process
of
sugar
from sugarcane. It is shown through 7 stages of the production
process
with arrows and pictures illustrating each
step
.
Overall
, the
process
will begin with the planting and harvesting of the sugarcanes before transitioning to utilize more industrialized methods from
step
4 onwards for the extraction
process
of
sugar
from the crop. We will first examine the first half of the entire
process
. The creation of
sugar
begins as sugarcanes are planted into the ground and grown.
This
process
takes around 12 to 18 months before we move on to the next
step
which is harvesting. Here there are two illustrations, depicting how sugarcanes can be harvested manually or through the use of vehicles like tractors. The crop is
then
crushed to produce juice, as shown in
step
3, with the assistance of machinery as the accompanying picture displays. Moving on to the more industrial aspect of the
process
, the sugarcane juice will first get purified in stage 4, through the use of a funnel with a limestone filter. Doing
this
will rid the liquid of any impure substances that can't be removed by evaporating the compound, using an evaporator in
step
5 of the assembly line. Applying heat to the juice will turn it into syrup, creating
sugar
crystals in the
process
.
Step
6 is to separate these crystals from the syrup, through a method called a centrifuge.
Finally
, by leaving the crystals out to dry and cool, they will turn into
sugar
that is
ready for consumers.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar, step with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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