The diagram below shows the manufacturing for making sugar from sugarcane.
The diagram shows the manufacturing
process
of sugar
from sugarcane. It is shown through 7 stages of the production process
with arrows and pictures illustrating each step
.
Overall
, the process
will begin with the planting and harvesting of the sugarcanes before transitioning to utilize more industrialized methods from step
4 onwards for the extraction process
of sugar
from the crop.
We will first examine the first half of the entire process
. The creation of sugar
begins as sugarcanes are planted into the ground and grown. This
process
takes around 12 to 18 months before we move on to the next step
which is harvesting. Here there are two illustrations, depicting how sugarcanes can be harvested manually or through the use of vehicles like tractors. The crop is then
crushed to produce juice, as shown in step
3, with the assistance of machinery as the accompanying picture displays.
Moving on to the more industrial aspect of the process
, the sugarcane juice will first get purified in stage 4, through the use of a funnel with a limestone filter. Doing this
will rid the liquid of any impure substances that can't be removed by evaporating the compound, using an evaporator in step
5 of the assembly line. Applying heat to the juice will turn it into syrup, creating sugar
crystals in the process
. Step
6 is to separate these crystals from the syrup, through a method called a centrifuge. Finally
, by leaving the crystals out to dry and cool, they will turn into sugar
that is
ready for consumers.Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar, step with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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