Students should choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying careers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Nowadays a number of scholars are choosing subjects with high demands so, they can get their desired job with high salaries.

However

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, I would like to disagree with the above statement. I will discuss

this

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in detail in my essay below.

To begin

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with, pupils are under great pressure to choose the subject

that is

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in competition and every next scholar is focussing on that to achieve it

although

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they are not into it and have little

interest

Use synonyms

. As they are doing all

this

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just to earn better and live a luxurious life ahead. For that they are working day and night without thinking of their mental health as they are under constant pressure to score good grades and get admission to higher universities they are going under de[pression and trying their level best to get into the best university in the town.

For example

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, most Asian students are victims because their parents are forcing them to join a course like medicine or the army so they can get huge fame and respect when they step into their professional lives.

Secondly

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, if we are much more focused on money-rewarding rather than other desires our lives become miserable.

Furthermore

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, our life journey will be stuck at doing work only, On the other side, if we try to take an

interest

Use synonyms

in the subject we will be more relaxed, and comfortable and we learn a lot of skills with joy.

For instance

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, if you want to become a doctor in the future, you can perform your duty wholeheartedly with keen

interest

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, and curing the patient is the best reward for you. In conclusion,

although

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it's trending to choose the job that provides you best pay offers if you are under stress and not willing to do it by heart will lead you towards mental illness. You are unable to enjoy your field and try to make money only. It is not good for your physical

as well as

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mental health.

Consequently

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, it is better to get admitted in the field of your own

interest

Use synonyms

rather than the one in which you opt for earning money only.

aimenmalik2021Wed Nov 29 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure the introduction and conclusion succinctly present the main points of the argument. The introduction lacked a clear thesis statement defining your position, and the conclusion could be more concise and powerful in summarizing your stance and the reasoning behind it.

logical structure

Improve logical structure by linking paragraphs and ideas clearly with a range of cohesive devices. Transition between points could be smoother, and paragraphing should be used effectively to enhance readability and structure.

supported main points

Support main points with a mix of general statements and specific, relevant examples. While Asian students' pressure was mentioned, more varied and detailed examples would strengthen the argument.

complete response

Address all parts of the task with a relevant, well-developed position throughout the response. While you have presented a clear position, make sure to elaborate more comprehensively on it with a balanced argument considering possible counterpoints.

clear comprehensive ideas

Present ideas clearly and develop them comprehensively, ensuring that the response fully expresses your viewpoint and arguments with clarity. It's important to expand on ideas, avoid repetition, and maintain focus on the essay's topic.

relevant specific examples

Use relevant, specific examples to illustrate arguments. The essay would benefit from a broader range of examples and evidence to support the claims made, helping to show a deep understanding of the topic.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

university major
high paying careers
long-term satisfaction
fulfillment
factors
potential
income
passion
interest
success
job satisfaction
transferable skills
balance
personal interests
financial stability

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Students should choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying careers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Your next-door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog 1. Your reason for writing 2. What you would like to happen 3. A nice, respectful style.