Students should choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying careers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Nowadays a number of scholars are choosing subjects with high demands so, they can get their desired job with high salaries.
However
, I would like to disagree with the above statement. I will discuss this
in detail in my essay below.
To begin
with, pupils are under great pressure to choose the subject that is
in competition and every next scholar is focussing on that to achieve it although
they are not into it and have little interest
. As they are doing all this
just to earn better and live a luxurious life ahead. For that they are working day and night without thinking of their mental health as they are under constant pressure to score good grades and get admission to higher universities they are going under de[pression and trying their level best to get into the best university in the town. For example
, most Asian students are victims because their parents are forcing them to join a course like medicine or the army so they can get huge fame and respect when they step into their professional lives.
Secondly
, if we are much more focused on money-rewarding rather than other desires our lives become miserable. Furthermore
, our life journey will be stuck at doing work only, On the other side, if we try to take an interest
in the subject we will be more relaxed, and comfortable and we learn a lot of skills with joy. For instance
, if you want to become a doctor in the future, you can perform your duty wholeheartedly with keen interest
, and curing the patient is the best reward for you.
In conclusion, although
it's trending to choose the job that provides you best pay offers if you are under stress and not willing to do it by heart will lead you towards mental illness. You are unable to enjoy your field and try to make money only. It is not good for your physical as well as
mental health. Consequently
, it is better to get admitted in the field of your own interest
rather than the one in which you opt for earning money only.Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction and conclusion succinctly present the main points of the argument. The introduction lacked a clear thesis statement defining your position, and the conclusion could be more concise and powerful in summarizing your stance and the reasoning behind it.
logical structure
Improve logical structure by linking paragraphs and ideas clearly with a range of cohesive devices. Transition between points could be smoother, and paragraphing should be used effectively to enhance readability and structure.
supported main points
Support main points with a mix of general statements and specific, relevant examples. While Asian students' pressure was mentioned, more varied and detailed examples would strengthen the argument.
complete response
Address all parts of the task with a relevant, well-developed position throughout the response. While you have presented a clear position, make sure to elaborate more comprehensively on it with a balanced argument considering possible counterpoints.
clear comprehensive ideas
Present ideas clearly and develop them comprehensively, ensuring that the response fully expresses your viewpoint and arguments with clarity. It's important to expand on ideas, avoid repetition, and maintain focus on the essay's topic.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant, specific examples to illustrate arguments. The essay would benefit from a broader range of examples and evidence to support the claims made, helping to show a deep understanding of the topic.