IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

A recent survey shows that in many countries across the world people are generally living longer. But an increased life expectancy has many implications for the aging individuals and for the society as a whole. What are the possible effects of a longer life expectancy on individuals and the society?

#survey #countries #world #people #life #expectancy #implications #individuals #society #effects
With the rapid development of the healthcare system,
life
 expectancy is consistently growing.
Although
 the rise of longevity is certainly a testament to human progress, it
also
 presents an opportunity and challenge to both individuals and society. For individuals, living longer offers a chance to experience more stuff.
For instance
, people can travel around the world after they retire.
Also
, the expansion of living time allows folks to pursue their passion and dreams, that they might not have had the time in the past.
However
, there might be some disadvantages to living longer for a person. With increased age, some mental health problems and illnesses occur, and
this
 makes people struggle every day.
Furthermore
, their family will need to cost more to take care of them.
Such
 as surgery and caretaker fees. From the societal perspective, many new industries appear
due to
 the growth of the elderly, in
hence
 the students will get more choices after they graduate.
In addition
, society can benefit from the experience and wisdom provided by the elder citizens. On the negative side, the heavily
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 population places strain on public service, especially the healthcare system might be burdened by the huge utilization from the elders.
Furthermore
, in Taiwan, health insurance is going to be overloaded, actually it is in debt now. In conclusion,
while
 increased
life
 expectancy is an achievement worth celebrating, there are multifaceted implications for the community. Balancing both cons and pros is vital, effort must be ensured that living longer doesn’t only mean adding years to
life
 but
also
 adding
life
 to years.
Submitted by vivian901014 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your score in the coherence and cohesion criterion, ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure with well-developed paragraphs that logically proceed from one to the next. Use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately and avoid repetition. Each body paragraph should have a clear central idea with supporting sentences that are clearly linked to the main idea.
task achievement
In terms of task response, be sure to fully address all parts of the task. Your essay should have a clear position throughout the response and present relevant, extended and supported ideas. Use a range of vocabulary to accurately express your thoughts on the implications of increased life expectancy for individuals and society, and strive to maintain a balance between both perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: