Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent decades, companies have addressed
children
in their adverts more as they are manipulated easily. A number of people believe that
children
have been influenced negatively and advertisements should be clogged. I partially agree with
this
statement and in my opinion, adverse shouldn't be forbidden completely. These days, youngsters have become major addresses for markets to promote their revenues. Apparently, advertisements have several advantages for kids.
To begin
with, with developing media and marketing, companies' strategies to lure consumers have been changed efficiently. they should try to their adverts accompanied by moral messages.
For example
, teaching
children
to respect their parents or doing their duties well at home or school.
Moreover
, since these adverts have been made creatively, it can be beneficial to increase teenagers' creativity especially if they will start their activity in
this
area in the future.
However
, kids can be affected by these commercials and they will have bad effects on them
due to
youngsters can't distinguish
healthy
Change preposition
between healthy
show examples
and unhealthy foods. they would be enticed to consume fast food and junk food which are harmful to their health. it is evident that manufacturers exploit them to sell their products more and more.
Nevertheless
, if they are banned, other problems will arise.
In other words
, the majority of workers will lose their jobs and the rate of unemployment will rise.
Consequently
, economic recession will grow in
this
society. In conclusion, In my point of view, advertisements ought to be limited in some aspects because regardless of promoting thoughts and ideas among
children
, they lead teenagers to use something a lot which isn't good for their health.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a discernible structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas sometimes lacks clear progression and coherence. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a central idea and that subsequent sentences build upon it logically.
coherence cohesion
Support for main points is attempted but tends to be unclear or too general. Specific and relevant examples or further explanation would enhance the argument's effectiveness. Aim to include at least one clear example per main point.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and presents an opinion, albeit with some repetition and lack of detail. Strengthen your essay by fully developing your ideas with clear, detailed arguments, and reduce repetition to ensure each sentence contributes new information.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Targeted advertising
  • Psychological development
  • Artificial needs
  • Unhealthy eating habits
  • Materialism
  • Consumerism
  • Parental responsibility
  • Critical thinking
  • Informative content
  • Economic implications
  • Revenue generation
  • Content creation
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