More and more people are leaving countryside to live in cities. Do more advantages or disadvantages of this development for environment
People try to get modern qualities as much as possible nowadays.
That is
the reason why more and more citizens move to Linking Words
cities
Use synonyms
instead
of living in the countryside. From my perspective, it brings more merits as I will highlight some points below.
Admittedly, agricultural jobs play a key role in the agricultural development of a state. As a matter of fact, urban areas tend to suffer from social problems Linking Words
due to
pollution from traffic, Linking Words
the
streets and public transport systems are usually overcrowded which is unhealthy and stressful . Correct word choice
and the
Consequently
, farmers might maintain their permanent work in the countryside in an effort not to change much their costs of living. Linking Words
In addition
, these unemployment issues in Linking Words
cities
are increasing as they do not have enough academic performance to meet requirements from employers. So, they can not put themselves at risk of moving to Use synonyms
cities
, particularly in terms of finding jobs.
Use synonyms
However
, youngsters nowadays are willing to support their career paths by moving to urban Linking Words
cities
. Use synonyms
First,
they have a wide range of employment options to Linking Words
further
their careers and raise their academic standingLinking Words
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
Hence
, they might approach knowledge more easily and try to make money from that. Linking Words
Second,
the large capital flows in Linking Words
cities
have a positive impact on technological infrastructure and people who live in center areas can access these cutting-edge technologies. Use synonyms
As a result
, in comparison to other areas, they might get access to the most advanced healthcare and educational systems.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
agriculture jobs bring us many sustainable opportunities, careers in urban regions bring more advantages Linking Words
due to
their modern technology and their urban welfare.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction is engaging, but it would be stronger if you clearly stated your main points in a thesis statement to guide your essay's direction for the reader.
task achievement
Some parts of your argument are well-explained, but they lack specific examples or evidence. Adding concrete examples would strengthen your essay and make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally coherent, some sentences are a bit lengthy and could be broken down for better readability. Additionally, the connection between some of your points could be clearer.
clear comprehensive ideas
To improve clarity, try using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary. This will make your writing more engaging and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have a good understanding of the topic and cover both sides of the argument, which demonstrates your ability to evaluate different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Your essay flows logically from one point to the next, which keeps the reader engaged.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your overall argument.
complete response
You have provided a balanced discussion by considering both advantages and disadvantages, which helps in presenting a well-rounded perspective.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example