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Writing Samples
Band 6

the table and the charts below give information the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in a one area of britian. the table shows where the money came from and the chart shows how it was distributed

the table and the charts below give information the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in a one area of britian. the table shows where the money came from and the chart shows how it was distributed
#information #police #budget #area #britian #money
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The table expresses the
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 in the given years and the pie chart displays how the money was spent. The
figure
Use synonyms
 for
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 government accounted for 175.5m and it was highest in 2017. Other sources accounted for 38m. It and the
figure
Use synonyms
 for local taxes had a big
gab
Correct your spelling
gap
show examples
 of 53.2m.
Total
Correct article usage
The total
show examples
 for the
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 was 304.7m. In 2018, the
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 of
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
 government had
n
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 slight increase of 2.5m.
By contrast
Linking Words
, local taxes went up to 102.3m. The total
budget
Use synonyms
 was 318.6m In 2017, 75% money
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
Use synonyms
salaries
Change preposition
on salaries
show examples
. The percentage of buildings and transport was 17% and it and the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
salaries
Use synonyms
 had a big
gab
Correct your spelling
gap
show examples
 of 58%. The lowest
figure
Use synonyms
 was technology, at 8%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
salaries
Use synonyms
 decreased to 69% in 2018. Interestingly, Buildings and transport
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the same percentage. The
figure
Use synonyms
 for technology increased to 14%. In brief,
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 went up in 2017. The
figure
Use synonyms
 for
salaries
Use synonyms
 was the highest in 2017 and 2018.
Submitted by pobbywang on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast".
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words police, budget, figure, m, salaries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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