It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
In today's world, individuals are often encouraged to take
risks
in order to achieve success and reach their goals, both personally and professionally. While
there are undoubtedly benefits to taking risks
, there are also
some drawbacks to consider. I am generally in agreement that taking risks
brings more benefits that outweigh the potential demerits.
On one hand, risk-taking can push individuals out of their comfort zone and broaden their knowledge, gain confidence, and become wiser in making a decision. For instance
, someone who takes a risk by traveling
to a new place may develop a broader worldview and greater cultural understanding. Change the spelling
travelling
Additionally
, taking risks
also
can lead to career advancement, as individuals who are willing to take calculated risks
often stand out and are more likely to seize opportunities for growth and success.
On the other hand
, taking risks
can lead to failure, disappointment, and potentially negative consequences. It is crucial to carefully assess the potential risks
and rewards before embarking on any risky endeavor
. Change the spelling
endeavour
For example
, a person who decides to start their own business and quit their stable job may face financial problems, uncertain conditions, a significant amount of stress, and the possibility of losing their investment.
In conclusion, while
there are risks
associated with taking risks
, the potential benefits far outweigh the potential drawbacks. It is important to strike a balance between taking calculated risks
and ensuring a level of stability and security in our lives. By doing so, people can navigate the challenges and uncertainties that come with taking risks
while
also
safeguarding their well-being and prospects.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central theme and that the themes of each paragraph tie into the overall argument effectively. While you have constructed a logical essay, further refinement of your paragraph themes could enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
Include a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction to provide a clear stance from the outset, which will strengthen your argument throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Use specific, varied examples to back up your main points. While you have provided some examples, integrating more detailed illustrations relevant to the argument will enhance the effectiveness of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Transition phrases and conjunctions should be used to make relationships between ideas clear. Include more of these elements to improve the flow of your ideas throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Always recap the main points of your argument in the conclusion to reinforce your stance. Consider reinforcing your thesis and summarizing the key advantages and disadvantages you discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on the structure of the paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph clearly progresses from the introduction of an idea to its explanation and the presentation of specific examples or evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.