It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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most individuals are willing to live a high quality of
life
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both in their working lives and daily lives.
however
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, if they just repeat their regular
life
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tracks and never improve their lifestyles and personal skills, they will not enjoy success and live in a better world of them which rather than they were before. In my opinion, I believe that it is significant that people can take
risks
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for their lives,
then
Linking Words
they can step to a higher stage if they have gained the achievements. After all, bold people enjoy the world first. For one thing, a person who wants to realise his dream or get
the
Correct article usage
a
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promotion
,
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apply
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should set a feasible masterplan to carry out and make some changes
for
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in
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his own
life
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. And the initial thing is to step out of his comfort zone and do more different and hard affairs which can guide them to a road that they are eager to go. Those things are some
risks
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, he will sacrifice some of his personal relaxation time and family time,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, without taking
risks
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, they can not make progress toward his aim.
on the other hand
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, even though taking
risks
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does not mean that you can obtain rewards in your
life
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immediately and successfully, at least you can learn from what you do in those matters
then
Linking Words
you can do your work or business better.
For example
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, you set up a career goal for yourself and you think just working hard is not enough for you to get a higher position.
thus
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, you kick off spending more time on networking and improving professional skills
such
Linking Words
as obtaining some qualifications which relate to your job. even though you do all those things that can not make your dream come true, you
also
Linking Words
master substantial professional knowledge of your job and get to know more friends who can benefit you in later
life
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. In conclusion, taking
risks
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means that you can do something that you
never done
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did
have never done
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before and that can bring more for you than you never
doing
Wrong verb form
done
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it.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clear paragraphing and organization, making it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. Consider using a clearer structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to help your ideas flow more logically from one to the next. Your use of linking words is limited which disrupts the flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay somewhat answers the prompt, but it needs a more rounded response with a clearer position throughout the essay, especially in the conclusion. Use the introduction to clearly state your thesis and employ the conclusion to reinforce your standpoint firmly.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further with more detailed examples and explanations. This will help to show that your ideas are substantial and well thought out, adding depth to your overall argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments, which will add to the persuasiveness and relevancy of your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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