Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

These days,
people
like to go to visit
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other county and live
that
Change preposition
in that
show examples
country
. Because, nowadays every human likes to live
freedom
Change preposition
in freedom
show examples
. In our busy life, we will need to go to work. Part of the
people
going
Wrong verb form
go to
show examples
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their studies and work. But every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
have
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
language
some
countries
allow
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
language
such
English
Change preposition
as English
show examples
.
People
face
language
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. I completely agree with
this
statement.
Following
Change the article
The following
show examples
paragraph will discuss.
Firstly
, when we decide to go to foreign
countries
, we should learn decided
country
’s
language
. Because most of the
countries
accept their own
language
know
people
. Other humans are rejected.
For instance
, before weeks,
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
of
foreign
Replace the word
foreigners
show examples
going to
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
. But part of
the
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
people
do not like foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
. But they like to go to foreign. That
people
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
many
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
. Because they can not their activities in foreign .because they do not speak
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
so they facing difficulties.
Secondly
, before planning to go to foreign, we can study still
our
Change preposition
in our
show examples
own
country
. All the languages are available in online and classes. That
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us more
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
. Many
countries
allow the common languages so we will learn that from kids. That
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
more benefits to us. If we do not have about going county
language
. Do not
decide
Add the particle
decide to
show examples
go foreign
.because
Correct your spelling
because
after
go
Wrong verb form
going you
show examples
will face social and
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
problems. In conclusion, I know foreign
language
learning is not easy. But when we try we can learn anything. So before
planning
Add the particle
planning to
show examples
go to
foreign
Add a comma
foreign,
show examples
we will study deciding
country
language
. We live without practical and social problems.
Otherwise
Add a comma
Otherwise,
show examples
we will face
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
language
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
Submitted by ajeevatharsan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay structure requires significant improvement. A logical sequence of ideas and a clear distinction between paragraphs is necessary. Your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion should each serve a distinct purpose. Ensure that each paragraph introduces a main point, elaborates on it, and provides a conclusion or transition to the next point.
task achievement
Your ideas are not fully developed or clear. Consider using topic sentences to introduce each paragraph, followed by explanations or examples that support the topic. Use more sophisticated sentence structures and vary your language to clearly express your ideas. Avoid repetition and ensure that each point you make clearly relates back to the prompt.
task achievement
The provided argument lacks depth and specific examples. When making claims or presenting arguments, support them with detailed examples or evidence. This adds weight to your thesis and helps the reader understand your point of view. Avoid using vague or generic statements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: