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Band 6.5

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#developments #lives #people
Some argue that earlier technological advancements made more considerable changes in
people
's lives. I completely disagree with
this
 contention, as I believe both past and modern technological developments are equally important for the general public.   To start, earlier advancements in technology, especially made 
the
Change preposition
in the
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 20th century, marked a significant milestone for human civilization. Take the invention of computer chips as an example. The introduction of
this
 technology meant that large-scale mathematical computations could be executed with great speed and effort.
This
,
as a result
, helped individuals in domains like civil engineering, architecture, and medicine overcome problems in their fields and make novel solutions, which would
then
 make improvements in millions of
people
's lives all around the world.   The same thing could be said of the latest technological inventions. Recent technological advances in the security system have prompted good safety for banks and private corporations. Because
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those developments, they gain the capability to protect themselves from any cyber attacks and sustain safe online money transactions for their clients.
Similarly
, cutting-edge technologies in the field of medicine, including DNA mapping and gene editing, come with the promise of a good future for
people
 who are suffering from genetic predispositions and underlying chronic illnesses like cancer, asthma, and invalidity. With the help of these advances, doctors can provide a more accurate diagnosis.   Having considered both past and modern inventions, I'm more convinced to say that both eras have their own impact on ordinary
people
's lives, and there is no room for their comparison.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay presents a clear position throughout the response. While you did take a clear stance, there is room for more developed arguments to enhance task response.
coherence and cohesion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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