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Band 7

Nowadays, with widespread urbanization, many doctors have decided to practice at hospital located within big, busy cities. However, other doctors have stated that they prefer to practice at rural hospitals. Write an essay describing your view on the topic. Which side of the conversation do you agree with and why?

#urbanization #doctors #practice #cities #hospitals #topic #side #conversation
In recent years, the phenomenon of urbanization has led to a significant shift in where
doctors
 choose to practice.
While
 some prefer the fast-paced environment of
big city
Add a hyphen
big-city
show examples
hospitals
, others are drawn to the
tranquility
Change the spelling
tranquillity
show examples
 of rural
healthcare
settings
. From my point of view, each opinion has its own unique appeal. On one hand,
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 in urban
hospitals
 offers a multitude of advantages. These institutions are often equipped with state-of-the-art facilities, cutting-edge technology, and a diverse range of medical specialists. The fast-paced nature of urban
healthcare
settings
 provides
doctors
 with exposure to a wide variety of cases, allowing them to sharpen their skills and stay abreast of the latest medical advancements.
Additionally
, big cities offer a vibrant professional and social scene, providing ample opportunities for networking and personal growth.
On the other hand
, rural
hospitals
 have their own set of compelling reasons for attracting
doctors
. The close-knit communities found in rural areas foster strong doctor-patient relationships, with physicians often becoming trusted members of the community. The slower pace of life in rural
settings
 can
also
 lead to a better work-life balance, allowing
doctors
 to enjoy a more relaxed lifestyle outside of work.
Moreover
, practicing in rural
hospitals
 presents
doctors
 with the opportunity to make a tangible difference in underserved communities, where access to
healthcare
 may be limited. In conclusion,
while
 both urban and rural
hospitals
 have their own merits, the prospect of
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 in rural
healthcare
settings
 is more significant. The chance to make a positive impact in underserved communities,
coupled with
 the potential for a more balanced lifestyle, outweighs the allure of urban amenities and professional opportunities. Ultimately, the decision of where to practice must be guided by individual preferences, values, and career aspirations.
Submitted by kimtruong270192 on

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task achievement
Your essay does an excellent job of addressing the task prompt and provides a balanced discussion on the merits of both urban and rural hospitals. However, you could enhance your argument by integrating more specific examples or statistical data to support your points. This will make your essay even more compelling and evidence-based.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay is well-organized with a clear logical structure. Each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, contributing to the overall coherence. Nevertheless, consider using a few more transition phrases to further guide the reader through your argument. For example, using phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Conversely' can make your coherence even stronger.
task achievement
You effectively presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Each of your main points is well-supported with reasoning. This makes your arguments persuasive and balanced.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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