IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Disscuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in foreign country. Give reason from for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #countries #periods #time #job #study #face #difficulties #disscuss #country #reason
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In the modern era, there has been a long-standing debate about whether these days more and more people are going to their
countries
Use synonyms
 for significant periods of time
while
Linking Words
 finding a job or to study my standpoint, it has a large percentage of advantages and disadvantages because in
accordingly
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 my experience and
also
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 knowledge
Firstly
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, I am going to discuss what advantages in who abroad foreign
countries
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. For me, it has many advantages. some
country
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's economy is based on foreign employment. some students are studying in other
countries
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 because they have good facilities there.
For instance
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 Captain, Pailet. If they are doing a study in foreign
countries
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, they will be able to work part-time.
furthermore
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, other
countries
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 have been paying good salaries to them and
in addition
Linking Words
, they are given good benefits.
Therefore
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 choosing work in another
country
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.
On the other hand
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, the trend of more people going to other
countries
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 for significant periods of time
also
Linking Words
 to find a job or to study
hence
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this
Linking Words
 policy has many disadvantages general public is trying to work in foreign
countries
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 but in order to clever employees are lost in
countries
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.
For example
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, for doctors, and engineers,
moreover
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, there is a tendency to lose intelligent students.
Although
Linking Words
 they are going to other
countries
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 may be folding down their family life.
To conclude
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 the government has a responsibility to avoid and provide good facilities for the general public
however
Linking Words
, accountability has students complete their studies back in their
country
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 because they are the future of your
country
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. “ your
country
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 waiting for you”
Submitted by hirushanayodh12 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are logically ordered. The essay tends to be confusing in parts and lacks coherence in presenting ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Improve on spelling and grammar to make sure sentences are clear and easy to understand.
task achievement
Make sure to support your points with specific examples to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Clarify the benefits and disadvantages with concrete examples and more detailed explanations for a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country, which is a good approach to answer the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
There are attempts to use linking words which is positive for coherence.
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