IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that social networking sites have a considerably detrimental effect on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that social
media
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websites
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 have harmful effects on
people
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 and the community as a whole.
However
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, I strongly disagree with the statement
as
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that
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 social networking
platforms
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 can not only help individuals make more
friends
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,
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apply
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 but
also
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 provide a large platform for spreading
information
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.
To begin
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 with, it is easier to make new
friends
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 on social
media
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platforms
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.
Everyday
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Every day
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, millions of users all around the world share their daily lives on social networking
websites
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, where instant private chats between users can be started with just a few clicks, letting them know more about each other through the conversation.
Moreover
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, they may even post things that they are interested in, which will
then
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 be grouped
in
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into
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 categories by the platform's algorithm.
People
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 are most likely to become
friends
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 if they have a common interest, so it is easier for them to expand their social circles
while
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 using social networking
websites
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.
In addition
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, ideas and
information
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 can be
spread
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 quickly on social
media
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platforms
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. As social
media
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platforms
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 allow
people
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 to share their posted content, there are tools
such
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 as hashtags to help reach a bigger audience. Communities can
therefore
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 use these features to
spread
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 important
information
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.
For example
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,
a
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the
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 trend of
Ice
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the Ice
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 Bucket Challenge on Facebook raises public awareness of
people
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 suffering from rare diseases, and
people
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 donate millions of dollars toward related
charity
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charities
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at the end
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. Other
information
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such
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 as campaigns and educational
contents
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content
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 can
also
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 be
spread
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 and benefit
the
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apply
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society.
To conclude
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, I strongly disagree that social networking
websites
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 are harmful to
people
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 and communities.
Instead
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, they have positive effects on individuals by helping them make
friends
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 and benefit
the
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apply
show examples
society by providing an effective platform to
spread
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 important
information
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.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas progress logically from one to the next, maintaining focus throughout the essay to optimize coherence and cohesion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing main points by incorporating more detailed and varied examples. This will enrich the content and make arguments more persuasive, directly supporting the main ideas introduced.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by providing a balanced view and covering both sides of the argument, even if you choose to argue predominantly from one perspective. This will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Provide a wider range of specific examples to substantiate your points. Examples should be directly linked to the main ideas and be detailed enough to enhance clarity and argumentation.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social networking
  • isolation
  • depression
  • virtual interactions
  • misinformation
  • polarization
  • cyberbullying
  • mental health
  • wellbeing
  • unrealistic standards
  • self-esteem
  • body image
  • productivity
  • distraction
  • public opinion
  • conflict
  • societal harm
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