Write about the following topic: Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #people #children #home #child’s #development #school #methods

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Education

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plays an important role in shaping the future careers of

children

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While

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some people argue that the best place for

children

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development to gain their

education

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is in their homes, I am with those who believe that

school

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has several benefits for

children

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. First and foremost, in

school

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children

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learn to interact with their friends from different characters and backgrounds so they can learn to respect others.

This

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interaction might help

children

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improve their communication skills

thus

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they are learning to prepare to get a lucrative job

due to

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one of the requirements to get it is good communication. Socializing with each other

also

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could prevent

children

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from suffering from mental health because

students

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who are taught at

home

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will feel alone and stressed. Another point of view

that is

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also

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important is a

school

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is a place for

children

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to strengthen their network for their future careers.

On the other hand

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home

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-schooling has beneficial effects on their

academics

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Children

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who prefer to be taught at

home

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tend to have more concentration than

students

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school

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who could be distracted by their friends in the learning process so they can grasp lessons faster and achieve their

academics

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However

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, having achievements in

academics

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is not the goal of

education

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because

education

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should encourage

students

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to pursue not only their

academics

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but

also

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their harnessing in society.

Therefore

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, in my opinion, teaching

students

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school

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still has numerous better impacts than at

home

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To conclude

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, sending

students

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school

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has many positive impacts not only on their

academics

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but

also

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on gaining other skills that are not found at

home

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Also

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, teaching

students

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home

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has more detrimental effects on them if

students

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are prevented from interacting with each other.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Wed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

You have maintained a logical structure throughout the essay, which has facilitated clear understanding. However, to improve, ensure that your argument progresses naturally from point to point, with effective use of paragraphs and a clear progression of ideas. Consider using a wider variety of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly.

task achievement

You have covered both views and given your own opinion, thus providing a complete response to the task. However, for a higher score, you need to elaborate your ideas further to fully develop your arguments. This includes giving more detailed and specific examples from your own experience or general knowledge to support your points. Additionally, ensure that you address all parts of the task equally to achieve balance in your response, which is a criterion for a higher band score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think that advertising may have positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because advertising makes individuals less satisfied with what they are and have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that a lot of research is a waste of time and money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. discuss both views and give your own opinion.