is a commonly held belief that the death penalty is a good deterrent to prevent heinous crimes. However, others believe that life long sentence is a better deterrent. Discuss both views and give tour opinioIt n

In
this
contemporary era,
whereas
some proponents believe that criminals deserve the
death
penalty
due to
their deleterious and harmful impact on their communities, opponents and I adopt a diverse view, as many offenders need psychological therapy, not
death
, and the life-long
deterrent
is a better option. To embark on, the vast majority of dangerous people could do harm to other inmates or themselves if they are still alive .
In other words
, a myriad of individuals are of the belief that if a person was able to commit a crime at one point in his life,
then
,
due to
the appealing circumstances in jail, the possibility of repeating his deeds will be extremely high.
As a result
, the prison population who has dangerous criminal records
such
as murder should be punished with the
death
penalty
to protect society from them.
This
can be exemplified by a survey conducted by a group of Iraqi civil society activists in Abu-Ghreb prison who claimed two out of five murderers had killed another jailed or committed suicide as soon as they entered the jail. What can be said here is that the due
deterrent
for killers or dangerous criminal persons is the
death
penalty
because
otherwise
, other inmates will come under
threat
Correct article usage
the threat
show examples
of
death
.
Nevertheless
, despite the aforementioned point, I can argue that for some jailers jail will be a second opportunity to live a respectful life. To illustrate, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a considerable number of psychological illnesses that have a direct impact on the behaviours of an individual and force him to do harmful deeds.
Additionally
, some of these mental disturbances might become undiagnosed for a certain period. Eventually, that person will become vulnerable to committing crimes unconsciously.
Thus
, for those individuals, the life-long
deterrent
under the supervision of a well-trained therapist will be a better option.
For example
, Dahmer the most famous murderer in the 21st century, after a prolonged investigation, the court came to the conclusion that he was suffering from a childhood trauma that affected
his
Correct pronoun usage
him
show examples
mentally .
Then
, they decided to give him a second chance with the long-life
deterrent
and constant mental therapy, after a certain period, he became a writer and wrote his own story and he is still alive today. In conclusion,
after
this
essay has reiterated the above-mentioned points, I can assume that
although
many jailers might be more susceptible to committing dangerous offences and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
deserve the
death
penalty
to preserve society, some of them could be under the direct impact of a misdiagnosed psychosis that affects their attitudes negatively; henceforth, I believe the long-life
deterrent
is the punishment of choice in specific situations.
Submitted by drfatima.abduallah on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the supporting sentences are directly relevant to that idea. Avoid including multiple main ideas in a single paragraph, as this can dilute the coherence of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Make use of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs effectively. However, be careful not to overuse them and ensure they are used appropriately to aid the logical flow rather than disrupt it.
task achievement
Be sure to fully respond to all parts of the task. You should discuss both views equally and then give your own opinion, ensuring that your opinion is clear and well supported throughout the essay, not just at the conclusion.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully to explain your points more comprehensively. Elaborate on the examples you provide by explaining how they support your argument and link back to the question prompt.
task achievement
Consistently use specific and relevant examples to support your main points. While a general reference might sometimes be adequate, more concrete and detailed examples typically strengthen an argument significantly.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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