IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that eighteen years old is the appropriate age to finish school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

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People hold different views about whether eighteen years old is the proper time to finish
school
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 or not. Personally, I agree strongly that
this
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 opinion is true from different perspectives.
This
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 essay presents
firstly
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 why lower
age
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 is not proper for finishing base education followed by the reasons that higher
age
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 is not appropriate as well.
To begin
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 with, to be younger than 18
age
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 is not quite senior for finishing
school
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 and decision
for
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about
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 the right job or
further
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 education.
In other words
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, it is the time for preparation for the university exam
This
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 stage is vital and stressful to gain future success in own career .
For example
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, in Azerbaijan young should choose their professional path immediately after
ending
Verb problem
finishing
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school
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 through
this
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 exam. Youngsters usually feel under pressure and think that
this
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 exam
difinate
Correct your spelling
determines
 their happiness in
private
Correct pronoun usage
their private
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life
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. In children of lower than 18
this
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 period can damage
psychologically
Correct pronoun usage
them psychologically
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 and physically,
as well as
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, after
school
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life
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 begins
life
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 period requires more responsibility and
this
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 situation burdens
young
Correct article usage
the young
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.
On the other hand
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, if
this
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age
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 is climbed more
then
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 individuals can not begin their job.
That is
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 to say, they are not enable to earn their own money and still are dependent on their families.
This
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 situation creates much trouble from
family's
Correct article usage
the family's
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 perspective because ending
school
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 later means children need care for
longer
Add an article
a longer
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 time.
In addition
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, there are
such
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 families as parents are older and they can not work more
due to
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 their ages or illnesses.
Consequently
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, if the
age
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 of ending
school
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 is increased when
evaluate
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evaluating
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 economic issues. In conclusion, I agree that
this
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 is the most sufficient
age
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 to finish
school
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 and in future
life
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, both receive responsibilities and make choices independently.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic but lacks some depth in argumentation. Consider providing more detailed explanations and examples to support your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Be careful to maintain clear and logical transitions between paragraphs and points. This will help make your argument flow more naturally.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively introduces the topic and your viewpoint, setting a clear direction for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion concisely summarizes your main points, reinforcing your viewpoint effectively.
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