Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #advertisements #products #lives

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Many people believe that the influence of

advertisements

Use synonyms

can stimulate some individuals eager to purchase some goods that they really do not to use. I fully agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and I will elaborate my reasons including related examples from my knowledge or experience, in the following paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, The influence of

advertisements

Use synonyms

has a huge impact on the way of life of the people in our society. As you can see, every time you watch TV or any kind of social online platform, you will often notice

advertisements

Use synonyms

. The company has been spending enormous costs in order to let people know about their goods.

As a result

Linking Words

, the individual is more likely to be interested in the goods and would like to buy them even though it is a useless thing.

For example

Linking Words

, when I was young I loved watching TV shows and I asked my parent to buy handgames for me.

Moreover

Linking Words

, The advertisement has more power to persuade negative eating habits for children. If you watch TV and follow social online channels, you tend to be familiar with

advertisements

Use synonyms

about Junk food or ultra-processed foods that motivate young children to want to consume them.

For instance

Linking Words

, since my childhood, I frequently saw the advertisement for Pizza that made me want to eat it. When I grew up I realised that it is bad for my health if I consume it too much. In conclusion, advertisement has a lot of influence on human beings.

Submitted by mahawichet on Fri Dec 08 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that your introduction more clearly presents the premise of the argument and a straightforward thesis statement. Avoid ambiguities and be explicit in stating your position on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Structure your paragraphs well, ensuring that each has a clear central idea. Use more cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly and clarify the relationships between them such as 'however', 'therefore', 'on the other hand', etc.

Task Achievement

Support your main points with more specific and varied examples. The examples given are somewhat relevant, but they lack detail and do not fully demonstrate how advertising leads to unnecessary purchases.

Coherence and Cohesion

Aim for a clear and cohesive conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position. Your current conclusion is lacking a strong final statement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
persuade
manipulative
unnecessary
excessive
artificial needs
desires
consumers
oversaturation
impulse buying
financial problems
inform
educate
features
benefits
innovations
raise awareness
social issues
positive behavior
enrich
well-being

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Pop music is extremely popular around the world. Why do you think this genre of music is so popular worldwide? Discuss your thoughts and give details and examples to support your opinion.

Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their class work individually. Other people believe that sometimes class works should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do anything. Others believe that men and women are not equal and therefore are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown. What are the advantage and disadvantage of this.