The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
While
enhancing human well-being through science
is important, I believe that by no means should it be solely the primary goal of science
. Equally important are safeguarding the environment and respecting animal rights.
In the practice of science
, the improvement of human lives should never come at the cost of the environment. As the world's population increases, creating better ways to produce food, such
as more effective pesticides, becomes vital. Yet, if the focus remains solely on boosting crop yields, the pesticides developed may not only affect pests but also
make the land infertile,
worsening the preexisting issue of food scarcity. This
highlights the importance of taking a balanced approach to scientific advancement that focuses on caring for both human lives and the health of the environment that they depend on.
Furthermore
, testing drugs on animals raises serious ethical concerns. Ensuring the safety of novel medicines for human use is critical, but prioritizing human health over animal rights is morally unacceptable. Animals, much like humans, experience emotions and share the right to live freely and without unnecessary suffering. Subjecting them to prolonged captivity solely for testing can result in both physical and psychological suffering. As moral beings, we have a responsibility to treat animals compassionately and avoid such
acts of brutality in the name of human betterment.
In conclusion, although
improving people's lives is an important aim of science
, I believe that it should never overshadow other vital objectives within the field. We must also
give equal priority to environmental preservation and animal welfare, striking a balance between scientific progress and ethics for a better world.Submitted by jasmine2001tw on
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay's structure lacks a clear progression of ideas – it's important to develop your argument in a methodical manner, guiding the reader through your points. Consider using more linking words and a clearer logical sequence throughout your essay.
Introduction & Conclusion
Make sure there is a clear introduction and conclusion that presents your thesis and summarizes your argument. While you have included these basic parts, they require further development for better clarity and impact.
Supported Main Points
Though the main points of the argument are present, they need to be developed further with specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen the essay. These should directly support the claim and provide deeper insights into the topic.
Task Achievement
Your essay responds to the task, but to score higher, make sure you address all parts of the prompt fully. The response should explore the extent of your agreement or disagreement, which requires a nuanced explanation of your position with balanced views.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Include clearer, more comprehensive ideas that are directly related to the prompt. Expand your reasons for your stance with elaborate discussion and justification throughout the essay, rather than only stating your position.
Relevant Specific Examples
The essay lacks relevant, specific examples that are necessary for illustrating your points and demonstrating a deep understanding of the topic. Examples add weight to your arguments and are crucial for a higher score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.