Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
We all can agree that financial aid from governments plays a crucial role in any profession
such
as Art. Nowadays, artists are provided with great financial benefits by federal or even local authorities for positive development. However
, a portion of some people believe that this
type of support
is unnecessary and can be spent on rather important tasks in society. Here, we will discuss both sides.
On the one hand, financial support
to any artist will bring them closer to achieving their dream by getting the required supplies and an appropriate environment. Furthermore
, such
opportunities for artists can be seen as opportunities for government bodies as this
act will bring consumers from all over the world. For instance
, the Taj Mahal was built by many artists and was funded by a Moughal Emporer, now producing a part of the income for the government in the tourism industry. Additionally
, art can expose small community culture on a large scale if provided with enormous support
. As a result
, the country will be well recognised by the world.
On the other hand
, people who argue that financial aid should be spent on solutions to the current crisis or problem are not wrong. Governments have global crises on their hands right now ranging from global warming to recession. These aids can solve problems such
as food deprivation in some parts of the country, for example
, in Africa where part of the local tribes have suffered from lack of food and water. Investing money for the needed infrastructure can lead to better community support
.
In conclusion, spending a lot of money on enormous issues for the betterment of society will be a better choice in my opinion. Also
, governments can provide some funds to the artist based on their performance but it should be best if kept minimum not a lot.Submitted by modijainil191919 on
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from a clearer and more concise introduction to immediately get to the main point without unnecessary sentences. For example, start by directly stating that financial aid to artists is a contentious issue, then outline the two perspectives before diving into details.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents ideas clearly, but some sentences could be made clearer or more concise to improve readability. For instance, the phrase 'furthermore, such opportunities for artists can be seen as opportunities for government bodies as this act will bring consumers from all over the world' can be shortened and clarified.
task achievement
While the essay mentions the Taj Mahal and Africa, using more examples or statistics to support points would add to its persuasiveness. For example, mentioning how much revenue the Taj Mahal generates or how financial aid has improved livelihoods in specific African communities would strengthen arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, efficiently framing the discussion on both sides of the argument.
logical structure
It follows a logical structure, presenting arguments on both sides before concluding with the writer’s opinion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow the flow of ideas.
supported main points
Each main point is well-supported, especially noting the example of the Taj Mahal, which adds depth to the argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?