Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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We all can agree that financial aid from governments plays a crucial role in any profession

such

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as Art. Nowadays, artists are provided with great financial benefits by federal or even local authorities for positive development.

However

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, a portion of some people believe that

this

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type of

support

Use synonyms

is unnecessary and can be spent on rather important tasks in society. Here, we will discuss both sides. On the one hand, financial

support

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to any artist will bring them closer to achieving their dream by getting the required supplies and an appropriate environment.

Furthermore

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such

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opportunities for artists can be seen as opportunities for government bodies as

this

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act will bring consumers from all over the world.

For instance

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, the Taj Mahal was built by many artists and was funded by a Moughal Emporer, now producing a part of the income for the government in the tourism industry.

Additionally

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, art can expose small community culture on a large scale if provided with enormous

support

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As a result

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, the country will be well recognised by the world.

On the other hand

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, people who argue that financial aid should be spent on solutions to the current crisis or problem are not wrong. Governments have global crises on their hands right now ranging from global warming to recession. These aids can solve problems

such

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as food deprivation in some parts of the country,

for example

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, in Africa where part of the local tribes have suffered from lack of food and water. Investing money for the needed infrastructure can lead to better community

support

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. In conclusion, spending a lot of money on enormous issues for the betterment of society will be a better choice in my opinion.

Also

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, governments can provide some funds to the artist based on their performance but it should be best if kept minimum not a lot.

modijainil191919Fri Jul 12 2024

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task achievement

The essay could benefit from a clearer and more concise introduction to immediately get to the main point without unnecessary sentences. For example, start by directly stating that financial aid to artists is a contentious issue, then outline the two perspectives before diving into details.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents ideas clearly, but some sentences could be made clearer or more concise to improve readability. For instance, the phrase 'furthermore, such opportunities for artists can be seen as opportunities for government bodies as this act will bring consumers from all over the world' can be shortened and clarified.

task achievement

While the essay mentions the Taj Mahal and Africa, using more examples or statistics to support points would add to its persuasiveness. For example, mentioning how much revenue the Taj Mahal generates or how financial aid has improved livelihoods in specific African communities would strengthen arguments.

introduction conclusion present

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, efficiently framing the discussion on both sides of the argument.

logical structure

It follows a logical structure, presenting arguments on both sides before concluding with the writer’s opinion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow the flow of ideas.

supported main points

Each main point is well-supported, especially noting the example of the Taj Mahal, which adds depth to the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
culture
creativity
economic growth
tourism
social development
personal development
merit
financial support
balanced
transparent

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Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap between the rich and poor is ever increasing. What problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation?

A person's worth seems to be judge by appearance and social status more than traditional values of kindness, trust and honour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?