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Band 7.5

Prices of fuels should be increased. This will solve the problems of environmental hazards. What is your opinion?

#prices #fuels #hazards
Some individuals believe that raising the cost of
fuel
 is the most effective method to solve environmental issues.
While
 I accept that
this
 policy is good to some extent, I believe that
this
 is not the best solution because there are much better measures to reduce environmental problems. It might be a good idea to increase the price of
fuel
such
 as coal, petrol, and gas because of some reasons.
Firstly
, by making it more costly to purchase
fuel
, the
government
 can deter
people
 from using private vehicles.
For example
, if gasoline is more expensive,
people
 will start using public transport rather than driving a car or riding a bicycle, resulting in a reduction of CO emissions, which is responsible for global warming and climatic changes.
Secondly
, a decrease in the demand for
fuel
 would lead
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a minimization of natural resource exploitation which would reduce the problem of waste disposal in
such
 industries.
However
, I am of the opinion that there are much better methods to deal with environmental problems. The first solution is that the
government
 should spend more money on conducting research and developing technology to use renewable energy resources including wind, tidal and solar energy
instead
 of natural resources.The second solution is to have strict punishments
such
 as payment of huge fines or receiving a prison sentence for
people
 who are accused of environmental degradation.
Additionally
, the
government
 should launch programs or run advertising campaigns to raise awareness about conserving nature. To recapitulate, I believe apart from increasing the price of
fuel
, there are more effective ways to protect the environment. In
this
 context, both
government
 as well society play an essential role.
Government
 should frame strict laws and policies against the offenders and
people
 should
also
 understand the importance of keeping the environment clean and healthy.
Submitted by jagdeepsingh3699 on

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task achievement
While the essay demonstrates a clear position throughout, it is important to develop your points further and provide concrete examples to support your arguments comprehensively.
task achievement
You should work on adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This would enable your essay to achieve a higher band when addressing task response.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the essay's coherence and cohesion, consider utilizing a wider range of linking devices and transitions to connect ideas more smoothly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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