IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past history can help us better understand the present. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #history
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Some
people
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 argue that learning about
history
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 only gives small takeaways because it has different situations.
However
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,
this
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 essay agrees with the opposite belief which is lessons learned from past experiences are important because they will inspire a better choice in the present. For some
people
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,
history
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 is perceived to have a little lesson for today’s life because of the different conditions between the past and the present.
This
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 is because with the advancement of technology, there are new factors that did not exist in the past but it has a great influence these days.
For example
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, back in the past, marketing strategies
such
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 as advertising a new product through TV would bring huge amounts of sales.
However
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, with the rise of social media, many
people
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 prefer to rely on the public’s reviews on the new products rather than the brand’s claims on the TV. The old marketing technique will not result in the same number anymore and the brands should shift their strategy to align with the market behaviour. Even though
this
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 specific phenomenon is different,
this
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 essay thinks that for general aspects, it is still necessary to learn about
history
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.
On the other hand
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, learning historical events will enlighten
people
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 about similar situations that have happened in the past.
This
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 will allow folks to weigh on any possible way to resolve today’s issues based on the successful
history
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.
For instance
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, the growing inflation in the US that seemingly will keep climbing over time can be tackled by increasing the saving interest rates.
This
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 measure is being taken by the Federal Reserve because many historical events have shown that
this
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 was the most effective way to slow down inflation. The same condition had happened in 2008 and some before that and it was proven that it worked many times. For these reasons,
this
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 essay believes that for more general issues, learning
history
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 has a lot of important information to serve better decisions. In conclusion,
although
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 some
history
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 has lost relevance with today’s life, some big
history
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 that has proven to be effective in resolving issues still serves a greater benefit to human life.
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Coherence Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and subsequent sentences clearly support that topic. When contrasting views, make clear distinctions between them.
Task Achievement
Introduce historical examples that are specifically relevant to the points being made to strengthen the argument. Vague references weaken the impact of your examples.
Coherence Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to demonstrate a seamless flow of ideas. Transitions should be smooth and logical.
Task Achievement
Ensure the conclusion summarizes the main points and reinforces your own stance rather than introducing new information. Aim to make your opinion clear without being redundant.
Coherence Cohesion
Incorporate complex sentence structures to display language flexibility, which will strengthen both coherence and your overall language proficiency.
Task Achievement
Provide a balanced discussion by equally addressing both sides of the argument with an equal amount of detail and illustrative examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • insights
  • progression
  • values
  • beliefs
  • heritage
  • identity
  • applicable
  • biased
  • subjective
  • practical
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