IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Living in a country where you must speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is often argued that it is more advantageous to live in different countries with different languages from your mother tongue even if there is some pressure. I completely agree with
this
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 opinion and think that difficult for academic and social life to adapt to new
people
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 in a different country. First of all, I believe communicating with strangers becomes a crucial moment when you live in a foreign nation. Even if someone can get a high score on a language examination,
but
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apply
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at the moment when speaking with local
people
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,
this
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 person needs to translate the first.
For example
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, a lot of
people
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 learn English in their own country with their
dialect
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own dialect
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, at the time when they come to English to continue their studies, they think they can speak with local
people
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 and understand what they speak clearly. But they can flow with the conversation because they speak speedily with the new dialect that they hear. That’s why it is difficult for
people
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 who live in different languages to deal with
this
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 situation.
Secondly
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, from a social point of view, it is difficult to make friends with local
people
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 in different nations.
In other words
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,
people
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 choose friends that they will comfort
while
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 communicating.
For instance
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, if you cannot speak their language very well even in class or outside class, they will never get close to you.
Thus
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, communication is the key to making a better friendship.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe living in a different nationality becomes a big challenge for academic and social life when you turn to speak other languages in your daily life because you will face a problem communicating with strangers and difficulty in making friends.

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Task Achievement
Develop a clear thesis statement in the introduction which specifically addresses the task prompt. The essay should have a balanced approach to the argument and more comprehensive reasoning on the topic if required.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples and develop the ideas thoroughly to strengthen the main points in both paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Structure the essay more logically with clear main ideas in each paragraph. Make use of topical sentences and support them with relevant examples and further explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clear paragraphs are used to organize ideas logically, each one leading neatly into the next. Also, use a wider range of cohesive devices to help link ideas and paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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