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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the divorce rates in two European countries in five years(2011-2015).

The bar chart below shows the divorce rates in two European countries in five years(2011-2015).
The bar graph illustrates the percentages of
divorce
Use synonyms
 rates in
Finland
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 from 2011 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 was higher than in
Finland
Use synonyms
 in the first 4 years of the period given.
However
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
,
Finland
Use synonyms
 was higher than
Sweden
Use synonyms
. With regard to the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
divorce
Use synonyms
 in
Finland
Use synonyms
. It started from around 35% in 2011 and
then
Linking Words
 went down to a little more than 30% in 2012.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 surged to reach almost 40% in 2013,and in 2014, it increased a little by 2% to become around 42% and in the final
year
Use synonyms
, it did not change. Turning to
Sweden
Use synonyms
, the
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 was approximately 43% in 2011 and
then
Linking Words
 increased in 2012 by 6%. In the third
year
Use synonyms
, the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
divorce
Use synonyms
 decreased a little and became around 46%.
likewise
Linking Words
, in 2014, it went down to 45%.
finally
Linking Words
, in the final
year
Use synonyms
, the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
divorce
Use synonyms
 dropped obviously to reach 38%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words divorce, finland, sweden, rate, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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