In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Since their inception, urban areas have been capable of offering more opportunities for working and living, attracting
people
to migrate in. Urbanization shows more rapid revolution in Use synonyms
this
century,
meanwhile, rural area populations have decreased over the years. In my opinion, it is a necessity for social development with many beneficial and detrimental aspects.
On the one hand, more Linking Words
people
moving to cities could revitalize the economy, offering more labour force in various fields in urban areas. It is evidenced that many farmers quit their original positions and left rural to be workers in factories during the Industrial Revolution in the 18th century, which directly created prosperity in Great Britain for the next 200 years. Use synonyms
Moreover
, Linking Words
this
transformation of social structure would influence politics and institutions, promoting social advancements Linking Words
consequently
. When more population work as workers and employees in cities, Linking Words
instead
of being farmers, the social consensus would be reformed. Linking Words
As a result
, Linking Words
people
would assemble strong individual and property rights awareness, Use synonyms
due to
the urban lifestyle and education, which is advantageous to the development of democracy. Linking Words
For instance
, how the formation of trade unions affected politics.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, urbanization may carry much potential crisis, especially for traditional agriculture and husbandry in rural areas. It is conceivable that young generations from the countryside prefer to move to the metropolis, these traditional fields would face a shortage of labour force, Linking Words
furthermore
, threatening the supply of food. Linking Words
Whereas
, too many Linking Words
people
flocking to cities would cause a series of issues either, Use synonyms
such
as environmental damage, excessive competition, and wealth gap, threatening the urban life quality.
In conclusion, urbanization is neutral from my perspective. Even though it has brought many benefits to our society, the problems we have are still grim.Linking Words
Submitted by Timothy on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a continuous flow.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand on the potential crises associated with urbanization to provide a more comprehensive view.
Introduction and Conclusion
You have effectively introduced the topic and provided a balanced conclusion, summarizing both the positives and negatives of urbanization.
Task Achievement
The essay includes relevant historical examples such as the Industrial Revolution, which effectively illustrate your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are well supported with specific examples and rational explanations.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.