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These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

#fathers #home #care #children #mothers #work #development
Considering that since not a long time ago, a majority of fathers prefer to stay at
home
 to supervise their
children
 when the mothers go to
work
 at their job, linked to certain causes like the evolution of the
role
 of parents. Personally, I believe that it has a positive impact.
First,
there are a lot of reasons to explain the fact that many fathers take care of their
children
while
 mothers go out to
work
,
likewise
Add a comma
likewise,
show examples
 the feminist movement
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is growing little by little changing gender roles to be more equal having the same
role
, could be one of them. To illustrate
this
 argument we can take the example that recently a friend of mine had a child and the question of taking care of the child with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
, has been an important source of conflicts between them. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it is a very positive development, showing that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is evolving
instead
 of a few years ago when it was
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
contrary ,and I think it contributes to the change of mind of the young generation,
may
Correct pronoun usage
who may
show examples
 not have the same perspectives as before.
for instance
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
, my cousin just had a kid and just
started
Add the particle
started to
show examples
work
 at
home
 and took the initiative to remain at
home
 to improve his
role
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 parents
To conclude
, the
role
 of genitors has evolved recently with an increasing number of fathers choosing to stay at
home
 to take care of their
children
, researching
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
equality with looking after their
children
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
also
 approve
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 idea of a positive impact and development
Submitted by santos_dij on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the response with an explicit opinion statement.
Task Achievement
Develop main points with more specific details and relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a clearer thematic structure, ensuring each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to better link ideas and concepts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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