It was predicted that, with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

#development #technology #people #st #century #time #prediction

Some predicted that

due to

the advancement of technology, folks will have more leisure

time

compared to the 20th century.

This

essay strongly disagrees with

this

statement because even though they have sophisticated tools, people have more complicated tasks to do and have more

time

to explore many ideas.

Firstly

, using high-tech tools enables employees to quickly finish some tasks,

however

, the problems to be solved are getting more complex.

This

is to say companies want their workers to go the extra mile to get their projects done.

For example

, Shopee wants their marketing staff to plan detailed marketing campaigns. They want them to compare various data to allow them to create well-planned campaigns that have a higher success rate. Ultimately even with the help of technology, the companies will require them to do more jobs because some tasks can be done with the help of AI,

thus

employers see that they can handle more assignments.

Secondly

, having AI to help finish employees’ to-do lists will provide more brainstorming

time

for them to prepare their projects.

This

is because AI can easily do some duties and people become more productive. They will use

this

time

to improve and explore new strategies to attain their goals.

For instance

, research has shown that many copywriters have a significant increase in their productivity after using ChatGPT to help them generate notions.

However

, they create more content compared to before the emergence of AI and do not have more

time

than what has been predicted. In conclusion, the enhancement of technology does not offer more free

time

to people because they are required to do more complex assignments, and the supposed leisure

time

is changed to brainstorming

time

for their projects.

Submitted by intanannisa.ia on Wed Dec 13 2023

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Task Response

Ensure that the introduction sets a clear stance in response to the essay prompt and provides a brief overview of the points that will be covered. While your introduction does mention disagreement with the prediction, it could be more concise and directly related to the technological progress and its impact on free time.

Task Response

Work on developing your points with clear, relevant examples. While the essay mentions general examples related to Shopee and copywriters, these could be more detailed and explicitly connected to the central argument concerning the prediction of increased free time.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. The paragraphs are generally well-organized, but transitions between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother to better guide the reader through your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Wrap up the essay with a strong conclusion that restates your main argument and succinctly summarizes the points made in the body of the essay. Your conclusion does this well, but ensure it does not introduce new ideas not discussed in the body paragraphs.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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