It was predicted that, with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true?
Some predicted that
due to
the advancement of technology, folks will have more leisure time
compared to the 20th century. This
essay strongly disagrees with this
statement because even though they have sophisticated tools, people have more complicated tasks to do and have more time
to explore many ideas.
Firstly
, using high-tech tools enables employees to quickly finish some tasks, however
, the problems to be solved are getting more complex. This
is to say companies want their workers to go the extra mile to get their projects done. For example
, Shopee wants their marketing staff to plan detailed marketing campaigns. They want them to compare various data to allow them to create well-planned campaigns that have a higher success rate. Ultimately even with the help of technology, the companies will require them to do more jobs because some tasks can be done with the help of AI, thus
employers see that they can handle more assignments.
Secondly
, having AI to help finish employees’ to-do lists will provide more brainstorming time
for them to prepare their projects. This
is because AI can easily do some duties and people become more productive. They will use this
time
to improve and explore new strategies to attain their goals. For instance
, research has shown that many copywriters have a significant increase in their productivity after using ChatGPT to help them generate notions. However
, they create more content compared to before the emergence of AI and do not have more time
than what has been predicted.
In conclusion, the enhancement of technology does not offer more free time
to people because they are required to do more complex assignments, and the supposed leisure time
is changed to brainstorming time
for their projects.Submitted by intanannisa.ia on
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Task Response
Ensure that the introduction sets a clear stance in response to the essay prompt and provides a brief overview of the points that will be covered. While your introduction does mention disagreement with the prediction, it could be more concise and directly related to the technological progress and its impact on free time.
Task Response
Work on developing your points with clear, relevant examples. While the essay mentions general examples related to Shopee and copywriters, these could be more detailed and explicitly connected to the central argument concerning the prediction of increased free time.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. The paragraphs are generally well-organized, but transitions between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother to better guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Wrap up the essay with a strong conclusion that restates your main argument and succinctly summarizes the points made in the body of the essay. Your conclusion does this well, but ensure it does not introduce new ideas not discussed in the body paragraphs.