At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

As can be seen, nowadays adults comprise a vast majority of the population compared to the elderly in many regions, which has triggered an untold amount of debate among various folks. In the upcoming paragraphs, both sides of

this

trend will be discussed. To commence with, there are certainly enormous benefits to the above-mentioned scenario. Not only adolescents are considered as potential workforces, but

also

newly young graduates are remarkably more updated in terms of science and work knowledge.

This

would probably force them to be more creative,

hence

job descriptions could be done more easily.

For instance

, a Gen Z who studied computer science would develop software more accurately compared to the elderly.

Furthermore

, undoubtedly, the availability of teenagers would give a hand to governments to eliminate the demand for attracting skilled worker immigrants.

According to

Forbes, countries

such

as Canada are significantly struggling with the increasing inflation

rate

that occurred

due to

the staggering amount of skilled worker immigrants.

On the other hand

, the demerits,

nonetheless

, shall be expressed in the following cases, with the growing of the young population, rising the employment

rate

is inevitable. the adults need to be occupied, which requires severe job opportunities, which can not be handled in the short-term,

as a result

, the unemployment

rate

rises. A recent research survey in my country where the proportion of adults is approximately 15% greater than the elderly, suggests that the unemployment

rate

reached a peak within the past five years. All summed up, given the scenario above, everything can be recapitulated into the fact that the disadvantages are outnumbered by the advantages.

Submitted by maryam.niknamm on Wed Dec 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

Consider providing a more cohesive introduction clearly stating the advantages and disadvantages that will be discussed. This sets a clearer roadmap of what to expect in the essay.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea which is elaborately discussed and connected to the overall topic.

coherence cohesion

Introduce a conclusion that does not just summarize, but also unequivocally states your final standpoint, providing a closure to the discussion.

task achievement

Ensure the response fully addresses all parts of the task. The discussion of advantages and disadvantages needs to be more balanced and comprehensive.

task achievement

Develop clear and comprehensive ideas by expanding on the points with detailed explanations and ensuring that they are relevant to the key question of whether advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

task achievement

Use specific examples that are directly relevant and supportive of the points made. Avoid ambiguity and provide concrete evidence or situations to illustrate your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages business to move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, people lived in one place for a long time , but now they can live in many different places what are the reasons ? Is this positive or negative development ?