As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?

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Some individuals argue that
businesses
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should focus not only on generating profit but
also
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on fulfilling their social responsibilities. Personally, I agree that
while
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making money is a business's primary objective, contributing to
society
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is equally important. On the one hand, it is reasonable for
companies
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to prioritise generating profit, as it is crucial for their survival. If
businesses
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are not profitable, they will struggle to cover their operating costs,
such
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as employee wages, marketing expenses, and payments for buildings and utilities, which may ultimately lead to bankruptcy.
Additionally
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, limited financial resources can hinder innovation. To advance their technologies, researchers within
companies
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must conduct extensive experiments, often requiring substantial investment, particularly in computing and other high-tech industries.
Therefore
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, if
businesses
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face financial difficulties, research funding will likely be reduced, negatively impacting not only the
companies
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themselves but
also
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society
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as a whole.
On the other hand
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, making money should not be the sole objective for
companies
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; they should
also
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actively fulfil their social responsibilities.
Businesses
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typically depend on various resources from
society
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,
such
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as labour, raw materials, and markets.
As a result
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, giving back to
society
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through charitable donations, community projects, or public initiatives is both a duty and a strategic advantage. By engaging in public activities,
companies
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are more likely to build a stronger brand image. For job seekers, research suggests that individuals prefer
companies
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that have implemented a Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) strategy, as they believe that a company that treats others with kindness is more likely to treat its employees well.
Consequently
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,
businesses
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with CSR strategies have a greater chance of attracting highly skilled talent. From the perspective of consumers and investors, they are
also
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more likely to buy from or invest in socially responsible
companies
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rather than competitors that lack
such
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commitments, as these
businesses
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tend to be more reliable and ethical. 、 In conclusion,
while
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generating profit is a fundamental aspect of a company's existence, as it ensures survival and growth, fulfilling social responsibilities is equally important. Not only is it a company’s duty, but it can
also
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lead to substantial financial benefits.

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task achievement
You provided a well-structured argument that clearly presents both sides of the topic. However, consider adding more specific examples to support your points, which could enhance the overall strength of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
To further improve coherence, ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Use linking phrases or summarizing sentences to clarify connections between ideas.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, setting a strong tone for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with clear topic sentences that guide the reader through your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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