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Band 2.5

Online shopping has become more popular than before.discuss causes and effects of this trend.

#effects #trend
Due to
 technical advancement and digital exposure online shopping has grown tremendously. And
thus
 making
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
show examples
 experience easy and
hustle free
Add a hyphen
hustle-free
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.
Earlier
Change preposition
In earlier
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 days people enjoyed going out and buying things but now in
this
 busy life routine ,rather than taking long wait
queue
Change preposition
in queue
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 people feel more comfortable
by
Change preposition
apply
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shopping online.
To debate
Fix the infinitive
Debate
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 over
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
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 of online shopping is difficult
due to
various
Correct article usage
the various
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 viewpoints each individual holds. There are many reasons for
increase
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the increase
an increase
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 in online shopping.
Firstly
, people
needs
Change the verb form
need
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update
Add an article
an update
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 on fashion items now and
then
, which they feel
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is in
online
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the online
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 medium rather than
physical
Add an article
a physical
the physical
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 store.
Secondly
, Shopping
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sites have made delivery easy and
also
 made the return policy and refund
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
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 transparent.
Thirdly
, setting
of
Change preposition
up of
show examples
 physical store which involves more money ,is difficult
rather
Rephrase
apply
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than setting up of online store .
On the other hand
, we have negative factors as well.To illustrate, there are high chances of getting scammed on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
virtual shopping.and one more major problem
on
Change preposition
with
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these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of purchase is delivery,we tend to receive the product in delay.
Whereas
 in physical stores we can touch and feel the products and make a purchase so that we do not compromise on the quality .
To conclude
, online shopping has more
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 over physical shops
thus
 the increase of virtual shopping is evident.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the choices purely
depends
Change the verb form
depend
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 on
individual
Add an article
the individual
show examples
.
Submitted by Kvishnupriya1991 on

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coherence cohesion
You should aim to clearly state your main ideas in each paragraph, ensuring that each idea flows logically to the next. Use a range of cohesive devices (linking words) to smoothly transition between sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Every paragraph should contain a clear main point or argument, which is then developed with explanations or examples. It is important to expand on your ideas and to provide specific, detailed examples.
task achievement
Make sure you fully address the task prompt. This includes discussing both the causes and effects of the trend of online shopping. Providing examples to back up your points is crucial for a high score.
task achievement
Your essay should contain a mixture of both general statements and specific, detailed ideas. The more comprehensive and well-explained your points are, the better your score will be on this criterion.
task achievement
Examples are an important part of your essay as they demonstrate the practical application of your ideas. Make sure to include relevant and specific examples to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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