IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

This diagram below shows the manufacturring process for making suger from suger cane.

This diagram below shows the manufacturring process for making suger from suger cane.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram below shows the production of
sugar
Use synonyms
 from
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane.
Overall
Linking Words
, the production
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
process of
sugar
Use synonyms
 is man-made and
consist
Correct subject-verb agreement
consists
show examples
 of 7 steps. The main equipment items are
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a combine harvester, crusher for the former process and an evaporator and centrifuge
machine
Use synonyms
 for the latter. As the diagram shows, the production of
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane starts with harvesting
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
plants from the field when they are one to one and
half
Correct article usage
a half
show examples
 years old for the purpose of making
sugar
Use synonyms
 from them. They are harvested in two different ways, either manually by humans or by
combine
Wrong verb form
combined
show examples
 harvester
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
. Afterwards, collected
sugar
Use synonyms
 canes are crushed in a grinder to produce
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
juice. In the following stage, the juice is purified by the limestone filter.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, purified juice is heated in
evaporating
Add an article
the evaporating
an evaporating
show examples
machine
Use synonyms
. During
this
Linking Words
stage
Add a comma
stage,
show examples
 the vaporization of water creates the syrup.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the syrup is poured into
centrifuge
Correct article usage
a centrifuge
show examples
machine
Use synonyms
 to separate the
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals. In the final stage, separated
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals are dried and cooled in a container and
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
 product is
sugar
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, machine with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: