Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

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Nowadays, some successful athletes are making money considerably higher than individuals who are involved in more significant careers some

people

Use synonyms

reckon

This

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is totally justified

whereas

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others opine it doesn’t make sense.

This

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essay will delve into both views and illustrate why

this

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revenue is not fair. A group of

people

Use synonyms

asserts sports that renowned sports professionals are outstanding symbols of dedication and hard work for youths and play an immense role and youngsters are being inspired by watching them and their luxurious lives

hence

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, they should be paid off to stay motivated iconic figures in societies.

for instance

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, Ronaldo is a superb symbol of hard work that depicts

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

will be rewarded On the flip side, others hold the belief that individual income should correlate with the value they add to the world.

Therefore

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people

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working in more important jobs have the competency to experience greater incomes, but

according to

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fame privileges and its inherent potential, they employ it in commercial objectives.

For example

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also

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, Maryam Mirzakhani was a phenomenon in her major, She never made a contract like Ronaldo because he can dramatically provoke the sales rate of any brand and football club event tickets

according to

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his influence on fans through publicity and media.

To sum up

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However

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, some allege that greater earning for sports professionals is completely justified

due to

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their crucial role models for conventional

people

Use synonyms

, Some others endorse revenues should be suitable with what careers add to the universe, not based on commercial efficiency.

Submitted by ali.homayoni93 on Sat Jul 20 2024

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task achievement

Your essay does a good job of addressing the topic, but it needs to be further developed in some places. Including more detailed examples and explanations will strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases throughout your essay. Checking for consistency in tense and improving sentence structure will help make your ideas clearer.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more engaging and cohesive. Try to clearly summarize your main points in the conclusion.

task achievement

You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the issue.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, like Ronaldo and Maryam Mirzakhani, demonstrates an effort to make your points more concrete.

coherence cohesion

Your essay maintains a logical flow, which helps the reader follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that anyone can create art, such as painting, poetry, music, etc. Others think that a person should have special abilities to create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The illustrations show how chocolate is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?