Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers. Others think that it’s depends on the attitude of the students. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Education
plays a vital in every individual's life
.As educated people can achieve anything in their life
.Many individuals opine that achievements
of academic learning is dependent on good Fix the agreement mistake
achievement
teachers
,however
,others claim that it is depend
on the Change the verb form
depends
hardwork
of Correct your spelling
hard work
learners
.In my perspective, students
can achieve education
success
if they want.It does not matter that
Correct word choice
whether
teacher
is good or not.I will articulate both Correct article usage
the teacher
the
views Correct article usage
apply
along with
my opinion.
On the one hand, the achievement of education
success
is only depend
on the view of Change the verb form
only depends
students
. To explicate it
, if Correct pronoun usage
apply
learners
want to achieve the
Correct article usage
apply
success
of
Change preposition
in
education
, they will do
Verb problem
make
effort
to achieve Correct article usage
an effort
this
.Everything can be done by people with the help of these factors such
as hardwork
,Correct your spelling
hard work
smartwork
,mental ability and willingness.If Correct your spelling
smart work
students
who
have any willingness to achieve something in their Correct pronoun usage
apply
life
, they will easily achieve without the help of teachers
.Sometimes, teachers
are not essential as students
can do anything if they focus on their studies.To cite an example, learners
who are belongs
to Wrong verb form
belong
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
Correct word choice
apply
so that
Correct word choice
apply
Correct pronoun usage
apply
they
can afford Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
school Correct article usage
apply
fee
but Fix the agreement mistake
fees
they
want to Correct pronoun usage
apply
Verb problem
apply
do
study.Unnecessary verb
apply
Therefore
,they study at their homes without any help.
On the other hand
,teachers
are also
responsible for the success
of the students
. To elucidate it, teachers
plays
an important role in the Change the verb form
play
life
of students
. As they
teach them how to behave well in Correct word choice
They
the
class and how they have to speak in front of other people.Correct article usage
apply
Teachers
also
help learners
to overcome their weaknessess
in studies. They not only teach subjectsCorrect your spelling
weaknesses
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
increase the feeling of confidence in learners
. Students
achieve their ambitions owing to their teachers
.If teachers
is
interactive and good Change the verb form
are
then
the educational success
of students
will definitely permanent.
In conclusion, academic learning are
taught by Change the verb form
is
teachers
.If teachers
teach students
from
interesting Change preposition
with
method
,Fix the agreement mistake
methods
students
will focus on studies
and achieve good grades.In my opinion, Correct pronoun usage
their studies
teachers
are mendetary
because Correct your spelling
mandatory
monetary
learners
can easily achieve education
success
due to
their willingness.Submitted by mahakbangarh on
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task achievement
The essay addresses both views with a final opinion, but the response is not fully developed. Greater depth and complexity in discussion can strengthen the argument. Ideas should be expanded with more insightful analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure needs enhancement, with more clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. The use of linking words should be refined to improve the flow of information.
task achievement
The lack of specific examples limits the essay's persuasiveness. Illustrating points with concrete examples can significantly improve task achievement.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example