Some people think the government should support artists like painters, musicians, and poets, while others believe this wastes money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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According to
some individuals, governments should aid
people
who have artistic abilities
such
as painters, musicians, and poets in terms of funding,
whereas
an opposing group of
people
claim that it is a waste of
money
.
This
essay will first discuss the beneficial sides of the expenditure on
art
.
Secondly
, a piece of work will discuss why most
people
believe
this
wastes
money
. There is a view that some of the allocations of the government
also
must be for artists. Most experts think that a specific group of
people
who have artistry must be funded
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to create their artistic examples since it is crucial for cultural enrichment, which means some rare works of
art
should be kept in places like museums and exhibitions in order to save our cultural enrichment for the young generation.
In addition
to
this
, one more significant reason that must be mentioned here is the economic impact which means some museums which contain artistic samples attract tourists from the whole world, after which countries can profit in terms of economy and replace the
money
allocated for
art
.
On the other hand
, numerous individuals claim that it is not correct to spend
money
on
this
factor. One of the primary reasons why they think so is the challenge of sustainability, which means there are other more important patterns for which are needed to separate
money
as health issues or the problem of bad roads across the country.
Secondly
, balancing priorities may be the next drawback
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
there are a huge number of artists in one country. What
this
sentence means is that only ones who can create professional samples and work specifically for
art
, must be given an exact amount of
money
and it needs lots of time to choose only appropriate ones. In conclusion, I believe that
this
way just wastes
money
as there are more considerable problems that need some attention and funding.
Also
, it may need a huge amount of time to isolate those who need
money
most.
Submitted by akbarturdiyev06 on

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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed with appropriate development. Some assertions could be further elaborated with more concrete examples or data to fully support the points made.
coherence and cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, aim for clear logical progression of ideas with varied linking words and cohesive devices. Some sentences could be more concisely structured to enhance readability. Additionally, take care to arrange paragraphs in a manner that presents a balanced discussion of both views before introducing your own opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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