Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is said that exercising can let kids realize the concept of competition, but some
people
also
argue that it is cooperation that kids learn more from exercise. In my opinion, even though teamwork
plays an important role in sports
, I consider that the motivation to be competitive outweighs teamwork
.
It is obvious that children
can learn how to be involved in a competition in sport. Unlike academic exams which people
can not see where their opponents are and how they demonstrate their abilities, physical contests need people
to perform in person. This
is a great circumstance that simulates children
's willingness to fight and encourages them to do their best to win. In the sports
class in the elementary school, we can see some students try hard to win in various types of sports
, such
as dodgeball, basketball and running. They are learning to become little athletes from normal students.
Sports
can let children
understand the value of cooperation too, but the effects are relatively small. Indeed, some sort of sports
require team members to join. For example
, volleyball needs six people
on the court to receive, set, and spike the ball separately. Being cooperative with teammates can give you more chances to win instead
of fighting alone. However
, not every sport requires teamwork
. Marathon, for instance
, is a kind of sport that competes with other players but does all the challenges by himself or herself. It is the quest for an individual's physical and mental limitations without teamwork
. To be honest, the only thing those athletes put in mind while
exercising is the ambition of chasing the win and fighting against other competitors.
In conclusion, I think sports
let children
know more about the essence of being ambitious and competitive for glory, instead
of learning the spirit of teamwork
.Submitted by yitsen210134 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good attempt at a logical structure, however, it would benefit from a more consistent flow of ideas and better signaling of your arguments transitions to guide the reader through your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of the essay are present, but could be enhanced by more clearly stating the thesis in the introduction and summarizing the main points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported, but your arguments could be strengthened with more varied and detailed examples, as well as a broader range of sentence structures to enhance clarity and engagement.
task achievement
Your response to the prompt is adequate, but there's room to expand on both views more comprehensively and to provide a more nuanced argument that reflects an understanding of both sides before making a conclusion.
task achievement
Ideas are clear but at times not fully developed. Aim to provide a more comprehensive exploration of the topic by expanding on ideas and integrating a wider range of perspectives.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples is somewhat limited. Including more instances and evidence from real-life situations would add depth to your argument and illustrate your points more convincingly.