IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You recently stayed at a hotel during a business trip. However, you were not satisfied with the service you received. Write a letter to the hotel manager explaining the issues. In your letter: • Describe the problems you faced. • Explain how these issues affected your stay. • Suggest what you would like the hotel to do.

#hotel #business #trip #service #manager
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Dear Sir/Madam, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to give you feedback on my stay at your hotel. From 22nd July to 28th July 2024. I stayed at your hotel in room number 307 for the
interview
 meetings. Before booking the tickets, I checked your hotel's rating on the Internet, which was good.
However
, on the day of the
interview
, the breakfast service was not provided on time, and the hot water tap was not working properly.
Consequently
, I was late for my
interview
due to
 a late supply of breakfast, which made me upset because it was significantly needed to reach the
interview
 venue on time. On the third day, when the temperature was quite low, the hot water supply was not good.
As a result
, I got affected by a cold. I would request you to review these issues, so the visitors will not face any sort of issues, and they will provide you positive feedback on your website
that is
 essential to your growth. Yours sincerely, GS
Submitted by gurhunjjan47 on

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coherence cohesion
Pay attention to ensuring logical flow between paragraphs. For example, explain the order of events more clearly for better understanding.
coherence cohesion
Group similar issues within the same paragraph to avoid repetition and to enhance clarity. For instance, explaining both problems related to facilities in a single paragraph helps maintain coherence.
task achievement
Clearly state your purpose at the beginning of the letter. For example, you might start by saying you are writing to express dissatisfaction and to request improvements.
task achievement
Provide more specific suggestions for the hotel’s improvement, such as implementing better staff training or maintenance routines. This would better achieve the task's demand.
task achievement
The letter maintains a polite and professional tone, which is suitable for the context and shows respect.
coherence cohesion
Beginning and closing of the letter are appropriately formal. The greeting and closing are suitable for a formal letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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