IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the current competitive world, only a few portion of people are offered high remunerations. The ongoing contentions regarding whether
this
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 salary gap is beneficial for the nation or not
has
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have
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 been increasing. In
this
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 essay, I will explore both points of view
as well as
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 argue in favour of not restricting wages. On one hand, some may claim that the government ought to limit individuals' salaries to ensure income equality and prevent excessive wealth accumulation in a few groups of the population. They widely believe that income disparity will eventually widen the gap between the affluent and the poor.
For example
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, it is undeniable that those who are wealthy can access better education and,
as a result
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, have better job prospects to earn more money.
On the other hand
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, high remunerations act as incentives for individuals to work harder and can be an indicator that there are a large number of skilled human resources in the country. The perception of earning substantial incomes provokes employees,
for instance
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, to be more hardworking to pursue that goal.
Moreover
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, it
also
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 induces talented foreign workers to migrate and be employed in that nation, contributing to economic invigoration.
Therefore
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, in my opinion as well,
this
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 is not only a reward for their endeavours
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 drives competitiveness within the business.
To conclude
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, despite the fact that confining wages is able to promote equality
into
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in
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the
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apply
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society, the advantages of not doing so are overwhelming since higher remunerations motivate people to be diligent, resulting in economic growth.
Hence
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, I strongly believe that the government should focus on creating an inclusive society
insteading
Correct your spelling
instead
 of enforcing strict earnings.

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Task Achievement
To optimize the score for task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt with a balanced discussion on both views, and your opinion is clearly stated. Make sure your examples are relevant and fully elaborated to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with clearly distinct paragraphs for each main idea. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to show the relationship between ideas. Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and flow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
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