IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe eventually all jobs will be down by artifically intelligent robots. What is your opinion?

#people #jobs #robots
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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, the use of artificial intelligence is surfacing day by day.
However
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, it is believed by
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 individuals that artificially intelligent
robots
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 are progressively replacing
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 workforce.
While
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 it is possible that most
of
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apply
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menial
jobs
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 will be done by
robots
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,
but
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apply
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it is unlikely to take over the
work
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 which
require
Change the verb form
requires
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 human contact.
This
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 essay will discuss why only
few
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a few
show examples
jobs
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 will be carried out by humans, in the
upcoming
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apply
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future. To commence with, it is quite possible that all the human labour
jobs
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 which
does
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do
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 not require complex human skills will be replaced by
robots
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. Many companies prefer to buy artificially intelligent
robots
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 than to hire and train a new employee because
in
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, in
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 the long run, it will be less expensive to invest in
robot
Add an article
a robot
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instead
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 of hiring a human being.
Furthermore
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,
robots
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 unlike humans does not require break and holiday. To illustrate, nowadays, most
of
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apply
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restaurants in Japan have
robots
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 to serve the customers
instead
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 of human beings.
Therefore
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, it
also
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 reduces the chance of
mistake
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mistakes
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 as sometimes waiters do mix the orders with other clients.
Thus
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,
due to
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 all these reasons
robots
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 are likely to replace humans in certain fields of
work
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.
Conversely
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, there are certain
jobs
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 which cannot be replaced by
robots
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 because they will never be able to achieve the capacity to do them. There are numerous examples
such
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 as psychology, teaching, medical
jobs
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 like performing
a
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apply
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surgery and treating people
agains
Correct your spelling
against
disease
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diseases
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, social
work
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 etc.
Moreover
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,
robots
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does
Change the verb form
do
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 not have the ability of decision making, so a human is always required to operate them.
Therefore
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, it is likely to say that
robots
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 can
work
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 as human
assistant
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assistants
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 but they can never become the boss.
To conclude
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, it can be inferred from the above confabulation that artificial intelligence would be taking over
the
Correct article usage
a
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 significant number of
jobs
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. Unskilled
jobs
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 will eventually be done entirely by
robots
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;
however
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, sophisticated
jobs
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 that require
human specific
Add a hyphen
human-specific
show examples
 skills will still exist. Ultimately, very few
jobs
Use synonyms
 will be safe in an increasingly artificially intelligent workforce.
Submitted by bhullarsimran2121 on

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your paragraphs flow logically from one to the next, and make use of a range of cohesive devices effectively. Your essay shows a basic logical structure and the reader can understand the progression from paragraph to paragraph. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For instance, transition phrases like 'on the other hand' could help juxtapose contrasting ideas more naturally. Furthermore, work on maintaining a consistent subject-verb agreement, as seen in errors like 'robots does not require break and holiday,' which should be 'robots do not require breaks or holidays.'
task achievement
Your response to the task is largely complete, with both sides of the argument presented and concluded on. However, to enhance your response, focus on developing fully supported arguments in each paragraph. It's crucial that your main ideas are fully elaborated with explanations or examples. The final conclusion should be more than a restating of facts; it should be a definitive statement of your position. Refraining from generalizations and providing more specific examples to support your points will also bolster your task achievement score.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • automation
  • robotics
  • futuristic developments
  • analyze data
  • analytical precision
  • human capabilities
  • emotional intelligence
  • human interaction
  • human oversight
  • strategic decision-making
  • nuances of human judgment
  • technological landscape
  • intrinsic human qualities
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