“Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to increase the length of the prison sentence. Other people, however, believe there are better methods to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.”

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It appears that people have divided opinions on how criminal offences can be solved. Some argue that a rise in the duration of a

prison

Use synonyms

sentence would be the solution

while

Linking Words

others suggest that there are other more suitable alternatives. In my opinion, both arguments have their merits. Proponents of the first viewpoint assert that an increase in time spent in

prison

Use synonyms

as a punishment for prisoners creates fear amongst the people who have the intention to engage in crime, which leads to a reduction in criminal cases.

For instance

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, in recent years in Vietnam, cyber scamming or inappropriate content posted online would be charged with longer

prison

Use synonyms

sentences.

As a result

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, the reported number of cases that committed those crimes reduced significantly.

However

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this

Linking Words

method would not be always effective as in some serious crimes

such

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as murder, the action taken by the murderers often comes from mental illnesses which could not be prevented simply by creating a threat.

While

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an extension in the duration of confinement is a perfectly obvious idea, other approaches should be taken into consideration. A good illustration of

this

Linking Words

would be education as it plays a crucial role in shaping human behaviour, which is the primary factor of a criminal offence. If children get access to high-quality education that teaches them about criminology and morally appropriate actions in society, younger generations would be less likely to pursue that path.

Additionally

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, higher social status, higher salaries, and better job placement can be achieved through education, lowering a person's incentive to rob or steal. In general, commonly thought that increasing the length of

prison

Use synonyms

sentences is the optimal way to reduce crime.

However

Linking Words

, there are indeed other alternatives to mitigate

this

Linking Words

circumstance.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, if only one policy is implemented, the effectiveness can not reach its max. From my point of view, increasing the duration of

prison

Use synonyms

sentences, providing free and exhaustive curriculums in schools, and introducing other methods at the same time may achieve the most desirable result.

trinhbakhanhlinhTue Dec 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, ensure that paragraphs are logically structured and each paragraph clearly progresses from one idea to the next. Use a variety of linking words and maintain consistent topic threads throughout the essay for clarity. While you managed to generally structure the essay well, you can improve by sharpening transitions between points and ideas to make the progression more intuitive.

task achievement

In terms of task response, address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Provide a more balanced discussion of both viewpoints and expand on your examples to support your points. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize both views and clearly state your own perspective. Include a more in-depth analysis of each point of view, and ensure your own opinion is supported by strong, specific examples.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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“Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to increase the length of the prison sentence. Other people, however, believe there are better methods to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.”

Most people agree that money cannot buy happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

79.Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries fees by paid by themselves but in some it is paid by themselves

Some people feel that equality between the genders has already been achieved while others feel there is considerable progress to be made. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.