Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reason for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development

In recent times, extensive use of Mobile phones during leisure time has become ubiquitous.

However

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, it is difficult to consciously reduce the usage of digital gadgets. I think that

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apply

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there are various causes related to

this

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and

such

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kind of harmful societal tendency is significantly a disadvantageous development. The primary reason is the addictive nature of digital devices and their capability to steal valuable time.

Due to

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the appealing software applications, attractive games and other necessary features, every age group

people are thinking

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thinks

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that it is essential to complete the day-to-day activities in an effective manner.

Moreover

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, young students are encouraged to use smartphones for their academic purposes,

thus

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enabling them to surf through the unnecessary content which are available on the websites.

For example

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, to handle household expenditures

such

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as bill payments, booking and paying EMIs and taxes, digital devices are predominantly used. Even though there is an unavoidable need for technology, a major concern associated with

this

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is sacrificing our health.

Furthermore

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, many young children are suffering from vision problems and the glasses are being worn by a majority of them. Young professional's health is still worsening gradually

due to

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the lack of physical activity and concentrating more on unwanted information which leads to more anxiety. To illustrate

this

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, many corporate firms have implemented gadget-free environments to assist employees with chronic mobile addiction and to increase

overall

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productivity. In conclusion, not only the mobile usage deteriorate well-being but

also

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it severely affects the lifestyle of people. In terms of mental health, it heavily impacts the family bonding and the relationships.

Overall

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, technology must be wisely utilized in order to have positive growth.

kr.kumbadevMon Feb 10 2025

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coherence and cohesion

While your introduction presents the topic effectively, consider rephrasing for clarity and conciseness. For example, you could simplify your first sentence to make a stronger impact.

task achievement

Your main points are relevant and clear, but they could be further supported with more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument. Expand on your ideas and provide context.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion summarizes your points but could be more definitive in stating your overall opinion and summing up the implications of your arguments. Aim for a stronger concluding statement.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, stating that smartphone usage in leisure time is a negative development. This clarity of opinion is commendable.

coherence and cohesion

You used a range of vocabulary and sentence structures, which enhances the overall readability and engagement of your essay.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reason for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development

Some people think that University degree is needed for good profession while others believe that experiences plays the key role, so people should go work straight after school.

Young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities such as hiking and climbing in nature. Why is this? And how can we encourage them to go out?

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times.They don't want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is a waste of time.Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?why?

In some countries around the world, there have been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling education outweigh the disadvantages?