The chart below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.

The chart below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
The bar chart illustrates the
number
of
Japanese
having a trip overseas in 10 years time, starting from 1885. The line graph depicts the percentage of
Japanese
people visiting Australia.
Overall
, the
number
of
the
Correct article usage
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Japanese
tourists travelling abroad increases every year, except for in 1991. The trend of the share of Australia and the trend of the
number
of
the
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Japanese
tourists is pretty similar. The drop in the
number
of
Japanese
citizens having a trip abroad affects the share of Australia in JApa At the outset, the
number
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Japanese
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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having a trip overseas was
at
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apply
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around 5
million
.
This
number
gradually increased every year;
nonetheless
, there was a drop occurred in 1991, which decreased from approximately 11
million
to 10.5
million
people.
Nevertheless
,
this
number
continued rising until reaching
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
peak
at
Change preposition
of
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15
million
in the
last
reported year. As both
graph
Fix the agreement mistake
graphs
show examples
pretty resemble
Verb problem
show
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Australia’s share in the
Japanese
tourist market started at merely 2 per cent, and it gradually increased until
in
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1989. It dropped a little from 5 per cent to around 4.25 per cent. After that, it rose again to approximately 6% in 1994. Between 1994 and 1995, it decreased, and it tended to continue decreasing.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, japanese, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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