Social media is popular and used by many people. However, some people think that social media can be bad for mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the idea. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience
In
this
contemporary world, it is undoubted that social media
has gained popularity and become an integral part of many individuals. However
, a school of thought holds that it can have detrimental effects on people
’s mental health. In my opinion, I agree with this
view.
On the one hand, social media
is undoubtedly a boon for many as it enables them to stay connected, share their ideas, and promote their businesses. To illustrate, students studying abroad can make video calls or post updates on Facebook, Instagram or other social networking sites to keep in touch with their families and friends at their own convenience. Thus
, they can get support from their loved ones should any difficulty or emergency arise. Social media
is also
an invaluable tool for businesses to reach a larger audience and increase their brand awareness. For instance
, small restaurants or eateries in Vietnam now utilize social media
to advertise their food and attract more customers. As a result
, the economy will be greatly improved.
On the other hand
, I am of the opinion that such
platforms can have adverse bearings on people
’s lives. Although
social media
can help people
widen their social circle, it is highly addictive and can make many people
, especially young individuals, prioritize communicating via social media
over face-to-face interactions. For example
, a lot of adolescents and young adults in Japan now suffer from Hikikomori, a form of severe social withdrawal. Consequently
, this
may lead to a lack of family and friends interactions and people
would suffer from loneliness or even depression. Moreover
, due to
its distracting nature, social media
is now blamed for people
’s short attention span which not only reduces their productivity in work and study but also
affects their well-being. Besides
, reading news on such
platforms can be stressful because not all information on social media
is reliable as there is a lot of fake news propagated by criminals to baffle the public and negatively affect social stability.
In conclusion, although
social media
is of great benefit in our modern world, I believe that it can have severe consequences on people
’s mental health. Therefore
, I think people
should use it wisely and moderately, and not let it dominate their lives.Submitted by weezel on
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Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic, indicating an agreement with the notion that social media can be bad for mental health. However, the position could be nuanced further to show recognition of the complexity of the issue. Regarding task achievement, it would be beneficial to consider adding a more in-depth exploration of the balanced benefits as well as a deeper analysis of the potential negatives.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure, but it would be even stronger with clearer, more varied connectives to better link ideas and paragraphs. Also, strive to maintain a consistent balance between your points, ensuring that each main idea is developed equally and coherently.