IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by governments rather than private companies. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s interconnected society, there is
prevailing
Add an article
the prevailing
a prevailing
show examples
 proposition that governments
instead
Linking Words
 of private companies, should be responsible for scientific
research
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. There are several reasons, why
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 is more reliable for scientific
research
Use synonyms
. One of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 reasons is that
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
scientific
research
Use synonyms
 should
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 greater financial competence.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the same time
government
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more diplomatic
competences
Correct your spelling
competencies
show examples
. Scientific
research
Use synonyms
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 a huge amount of money,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the reason why corporations may for saving money use less equipment and try to decrease spending budget,
hence
Linking Words
, it may dramatically affect the quality of
research
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, relying on national funds, it would be much easier for
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to subsidise
this
Linking Words
 kind of activity. As an example in some
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 there are taxes for experimental scientific
research
Use synonyms
. People pay
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
show examples
 of money each year to
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 for it.
In addition
Linking Words
 some scientific
research
Use synonyms
 should be done accurately,
cause
Correct your spelling
because
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
minor mistakes in
research
Use synonyms
 can
contain
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 potential harm and damage
Change preposition
to
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 race.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 should bear the responsibility of carrying out all scientific
research
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of private companies. It is very important that
findings
Correct article usage
the findings
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 scientific
research
Use synonyms
 should be under
control
Add an article
the control
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to guarantee that it is used for the sake of the public. As an
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 there are some areas, in which
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 have
Add an article
a conflict
show examples
conflict
Fix the agreement mistake
conflicts
show examples
 with
Add an article
the corporation
a corporation
show examples
corporation
Fix the agreement mistake
corporations
show examples
,
due to
Linking Words
 chemical waste and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
gas, which damage
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. In conclusion, since governments have more economic and diplomatic capacity and can better safeguard the
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 of their people, I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should have responsibility for scientific
research
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a clear structure, but transitions between points can be improved. Ensure that each new idea or paragraph flows logically from the one preceding it. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good. However, the introduction could better outline the arguments that will be discussed, and the conclusion could more strongly reiterate the essay's stance.
coherence cohesion
You provided some support for your main points, yet the examples and explanations used could be developed further. More specific, detailed, and varied examples would strengthen your position.
task achievement
You have responded to the task by agreeing that governments should carry out scientific research. However, your response sometimes lacks focus, and the ideas occasionally drift from the core topic. Ensure each paragraph conveys a clear, central idea related to the prompt.
task achievement
The ideas you've presented are somewhat clear, but they could be articulated more comprehensively. Focus on developing each point fully before moving on to the next one.
task achievement
The examples and evidence provided are relevant but need to be more specific. References to general situations or hypothetical scenarios should be replaced with concrete cases and authoritative sources where possible.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • carried out
  • controlled
  • governments
  • private companies
  • unbiased
  • prioritize
  • profit
  • public interest
  • allocate resources
  • lucrative
  • collaboration
  • information sharing
  • confidential
  • competitive advantage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: