Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it. How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

#people #country #television #programmes #films #answers

I disagree that

people

will have more knowledge and acknowledge when they watch

television

shows and films than when they

travel

to those places. I will discuss the advantages of

travel

which they cannot feel by watching

television

this

essay. Obviously, watching

television

brings some benefits for viewers. If some

people

often watch TV shows or films, they could understand basic traditional cultures and prepare a little knowledge for themselves if they have a chance to go there.

For example

, viewers will know the

greeting

Fix the agreement mistake

greetings

show examples

or lifestyle of local

people

. In Japan, when you meet local residents, you should bow

instead

of shaking hands or you should use chopsticks in meals. It will be fine

instead

of using spoons. Once you know the basic things, you have a prepared mentality before visiting there and can get used to the lifestyle

to be

Change preposition

of being

show examples

confused.

However

, I think that

people

will learn more about another country by visiting it

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is more important. If you have a chance to

travel

foreign

Change preposition

to foreign

show examples

countries, you will have a linguistic environment and

experience

new things.

For example

, if you

travel

to the UK, you can learn English faster than at home because

they

Correct pronoun usage

you

show examples

can meet and communicate with local

people

Besides

, they can explore or visit famous places which

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

them

reality

Correct article usage

a reality

show examples

experience

when they look at wonderful sceneries

instead

of watching through

television

In addition

, visitors could learn to make some Western dishes, which will be guided directly by local residents or chefs, they do not need to learn through TV

programmers

Replace the word

programs

show examples

or films. In conclusion, despite the advantages of watching TV, I personally believe that practical

experience

helps

people

have more knowledge and learn new things because they can meet,

communicate

Correct word choice

and communicate

show examples

directly with local residents and

experience

everything during

travel

time.

Submitted by vuhien4397 on Sat Dec 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Your essay shows an attempt at logical structuring, but the ideas can be better connected and more smoothly transitioned.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction and conclusion in your essay. Your essay has identifiable introduction and conclusion paragraphs, but they can be strengthened to better outline and summarize your main points.

coherence cohesion

Provide clear support for your main points. While your essay attempted to support the main points, the evidence and examples could be more thoroughly explained and directly related to the central claim.

task achievement

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task achievement

Present ideas clearly and expand upon them to ensure a full understanding of the topic. Your essay contained relevant ideas but did not explore them in enough depth for the highest marks.

task achievement

Use relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument. While you provided some examples, incorporating more precise and detailed instances will make your argument more persuasive.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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