discuss both views: some people believe family influence the children’ development; however, some argue that other influences (movie, music, friends…) more affect children.
The question of what influences a child's development is an ongoing topic of discussion. Some assert that the family is the primary influence,
while
others argue that friends, music, and movies play more significant roles. In this
essay, I will explore both perspectives, discussing how families shape children and considering the impact of external influences.
On one hand, families play a crucial role in the growth of their kids as primary caregivers and mentors. For instance
, parents who actively encourage a child's curiosity and nurture critical thinking significantly contribute to their intellectual growth. Additionally
, when parents model positive behaviours like kindness and cooperation, these actions help them understand and adopt essential societal norms. These early lessons not only impact their current behaviour but also
establish a foundation for future decision-making. In essence, the family serves as a cornerstone in fostering not just the child's immediate well-being but also
their long-term growth.
On the other hand
, external factors like movies, music, and friends wield considerable influence over a youngster's thoughts and behaviours. The lyrics of songs and the content of films, encountered by nearly all youngsters, shape their perspectives and understanding of the world. For example
, exposure to melody with positive messages or films that promote empathy can contribute to their emotional development. Furthermore
, the influence of friends should not be underestimated. Friendships often involve shared experiences and fun, significantly contributing to their mindset. Children engaging in dynamic and friendly environments may develop essential qualities like open-mindedness, adaptability, and teamwork, which are valuable beyond the confines of the family setting. In this
way, external influences, including media and peer interactions, play a vital part in shaping their worldview and social skills.
In conclusion, while
many children are initially
shaped by their families, others are influenced by their surroundings. The environment, including peers and external factors, can also
play an important part in determining the kind of individuals they become.Submitted by cathyngo1512 on
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task achievement
To improve task response, it is beneficial to include more specific examples illustrating the influences of family and external factors on a child's development. Moving beyond general statements to provide tangible illustrations will strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Regarding coherence and cohesion, consider creating clearer connections between the ideas within each paragraph and between paragraphs. Transition words and phrases can be used more effectively to build a seamless link between family influence and external factors.
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