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Band 7

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #buildings #ones
Whether we like it or not, the importance of preserving some types of venues is a substantially significant topic that has triggered an untold amount of debate among various folks. It is highly argued by some groups of individuals that a number of old buildings are more worthwhile to preserve compared to others, and I vehemently advocate
this
 assertion. To commence with, those who advocate the above-mentioned scenario, wholeheartedly agree with the view by securing a phenomenon
such
 as houses where famous celebrities or politicians used to live there are more worthy to kept safe.
Hence
, not only these places could be considered tourist attractions but
also
 owners could sell them at an auction and earn a staggering amount of money.
For instance
, the palace where the Shah of Iran used to live, has now become a famous museum,
nonetheless
, a vast majority of tourists are willing to pay a visit there. Another importance that has been laid on the mentioned scenario could be, that some houses have an authentic architectural style that has a cultural story behind them. Indeed, securing these places gives a hand to the next generation to recognize their ancestor's cultural identity. All summed up, the necessities
along with
 the attitudes and aptitudes connected to the topics clarified above demonstrate, that
although
 people may vary in their point of view regarding preserving certain old buildings, on a more personal level, I completely agree
due to
 the beneficial ramifications it could hold, namely taking advantages from these places as a tourist attraction, break them into the auction, or appreciated its architect.
Submitted by maryam.niknamm on

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task achievement
While your essay presents a clear position throughout, it sometimes deviates from focusing solely on the topic at hand. Make sure that every argument and example provided is directly relevant to the question asked. Furthermore, the introduction should explicitly address the issue raised by the topic, ensuring a clear understanding of your stance on the preservation of old buildings.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates an attempt at logical structuring, with paragraphs that introduce different ideas. However, transitions between these ideas could be smoother, and the logical flow can be enhanced by ensuring that each paragraph smoothly leads to the next. Clarity can be improved by concise sentence structure and the use of cohesive devices that are varied and appropriately applied throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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