IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below show current rates of secondary and higher education among people in various parts of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below show current rates of secondary and higher education among people in various parts of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#show #rates #education #people #parts #world #information #features #comparison
The two bar
graph
Fix the agreement mistake
graphs
show examples
 provide information about
ratio
Add an article
the ratio
show examples
 of
students
 for two levels which are
school aged
Add a hyphen
school-aged
show examples
 and adults
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
show examples
 for both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
.
Overall
,
europe
Change the capitalization
Europe
show examples
 is the significant ration for
accept
Change the verb form
accepting
show examples
secondry
Correct your spelling
secondary
 of
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 system, as
samilar
Correct your spelling
similar
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
latin
Change the capitalization
Latin
show examples
 America
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 East Asia.
Otherwise
, in high education
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 decreased to half in Europe and the three
remaning
Correct your spelling
remaining
 was
approximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 30 and below.
With begin
Replace the word
In the beginning
show examples
, the most
shool
Correct your spelling
school
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in oversease was
Europ
Correct your spelling
Europe
show examples
 which is just
belowe
Correct your spelling
below
 100 for
femel
Correct your spelling
females
, but
Change preposition
for male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 is just below 90.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 adult
students
 decreased to half. Sub saharan
africa
Change the capitalization
Africa
show examples
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest
school aged
Replace the word
number of school-aged
show examples
students
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
less than 20
students
 for both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
.
Latain
Correct your spelling
Latin
 America and East Asia were similar range
students
 which around lower than half.
On the other hand
, adult
shool
Correct your spelling
school
show examples
 was fewer by about 20 % with
note
Add an article
a note
the note
show examples
 it the
femel
Correct your spelling
feel
female
 is less than 20,
while
 in East Asia is more than 20.
Submitted by M on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: