Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowaday
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Nowadays
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, some individuals tend to think that they should allow their children to make their own choices on matters like what food
toeat
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to eat
, what clothes to wear and even their desired leisure.
While others
Correct word choice
Others
show examples
believe that it is more vital for their kids to make their own decisions about essential
like
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apply
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issues, which will affect them the most. In the following essay, I will discuss both views and share my personal opinion. On the one hand, some people justifiably, believe that what children need is
a
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apply
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greater development which is accessible by being
thought
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taught
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as well as
freedom. Not only does
giving
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give
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a chance to adolescents to choose
enhancesself-esteem
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enhances self-esteem
, but
also
, it will be a different practice to become more
independant
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independent
as adults.
For instance
, by giving them
chance
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a chance
show examples
to opt for which dress they like to wear for the party or what food they desire to eat for lunch,
is
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are
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more likely to excel at addressing a problem as they have to choose logically and emotionally.
Thus
, allocating freedom for
yougsters
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youngsters
, results in flourishing in their future.
On the other hand
, some reckon that providing teenagers
freedome
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freedom
to decide, brings about
being
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apply
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arrogant as they get used to
prioritize
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prioritising
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their own desires and wishes over other quintessential things in life.
However
, I don't find
this
argument convincing since it rarely happens that freedom through the parents' observation leads to arrogant children as they
are thought
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think
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that
others
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others'
other's
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needs are
substantial
Rephrase
as substantial
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as theirs.
In addition
, if they have an opportunity to experience dealing with different challenges, they will be more prosperous in the future.
For example
, youth who have asked about the destination of a trip feel more valuable and responsible for the consequences of that travel.
To conclude
, in my view, juveniles should be allowed to decide as it has a vital role in their development and nurture.
Moreover
, parents should teach their offspring to consider every detail in their decisions and assist them to thrive.
Submitted by sarina.chenare78 on

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task achievement
The essay provides a distinct introduction and conclusion, which addresses the task and provides a personal opinion. However, the conclusion could be further strengthened by briefly summarising the main points discussed. The essay fails to present a completely balanced discussion, as it appears to favor one view over the other. Encourage a more equally weighted analysis of both perspectives before presenting a clear personal stance.
coherence cohesion
While the essay maintains an adequate logical structure, the progression between ideas can be improved. The writer should focus on smoother transitions and more explicit linking phrases to bridge ideas, ensuring the flow from one idea to the next is seamless. Additionally, avoid repetitive sentence structures to ensure variety and maintain the reader's interest.
task achievement
The main points are somewhat supported by examples and explanations, but the essay can benefit from incorporating a wider range of examples and a deeper exploration of these points. Specific, clear, and relevant examples are necessary to effectively illustrate the arguments and contribute to the persuasiveness of the discussion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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