Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.
Some people argue that using mobile
phones
should be allowed during study time for children .However
, this
essay strongly stands with the people who believe that working with these devices in institution
should be banned.
It is understandable that using the phone in the Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
class
can bring more detail about the lessons.In fact, while
the teacher is explaining a subject in class
, enlistment can browse the internet and find more details about the topic and understand the teacher's point better. For instance
, when the topic of studying is about human body parts, it is hard to imagine all parts of the human body following the teacher's words.However
, smart smartphones have the ability to search on the internet and display the human body during the study and they may help to learn better.Although
the device can help in this
way,teachers can bring a projector with them in class
and show images to enlistment instead
of using mobile phones
.
On the opposite side, admission can be more focused on their studies, if using phones
is banned in school.In fact, children and youngsters prefer to work with applications and play games on their phones
instead
of listening to their courses. So this
device can distract them and they may not learn the subject of the class
.For example
, there was an
experiment literature in an Indian department which illustrated that a Remove the article
apply
class
without using a phone had a better average mark compared to the other class
using this
device.
In conclusion, Although
using phones
by recruitment can help them learn their lessons,it has lots of drawbacks such
as distraction during the academy day.So the best choice in my point of view is to make a rule and ban phones
USE SYNONYMS
call upcontactdial
It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
.Submitted by mohammad.bameri.1380 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay's logical structure is decent but could be improved. Consider organizing your ideas more clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a singular main point that relates directly back to the thesis. Use clear topic sentences to start each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, but they could be more effective. Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss, while your conclusion should succinctly summarize your arguments without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but the support provided can sometimes be vague or unconvincing. Consider incorporating more concrete and detailed examples to reinforce your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
You have responded to the task, but the response lacks depth. Your essay should comprehensively address all parts of the prompt, including the reasons why some people might hold different views on the issue.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear but not fully developed. Aim for comprehensive explanations that demonstrate a strong understanding of the topic. Expand your points with thorough reasoning and evidence.
task achievement
You've included examples, but they need to be more relevant and specific. Tailor your examples to directly support the argument you are making in each paragraph, and make sure they are detailed enough to be compelling.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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